Global Jobs Report: The World Holds Its Breath While the Printer Jams By Dave’s Locker International Bureau (currently located wherever the coffee’s cheapest) The latest jobs report has dropped like a lukewarm burrito onto the conference-room table of global consciousness—half nourishing, half indigestible. In Washington, the Bureau of Labor Statistics announced that the United States…
Tokyo, Wednesday, 3:14 a.m.—while the rest of the planet either sleeps fitfully or doom-scrolls itself into a deeper existential debt, an emergency press conference is underway inside MAPPA’s gleaming headquarters. The topic: an as-yet-untitled Jujutsu Kaisen spin-off that promises, in the words of producer Makoto Kimura, “to explore the morally gray corridors of jujutsu society…
Chad vs Ghana: A Tale of Two Africas, One IMF, and the Perpetual Search for the Next Miracle By the time you finish your morning coffee, another development bank will have issued a glossy report announcing that somewhere between the Sahara and the Gulf of Guinea lies the “next frontier of growth.” Never mind that…
Good Morning, World: How “GMA Deals & Steals” Became the Soft Power Bargain Basement of the 21st Century By Henrietta “Hank” Delacroix, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker NEW YORK—While the United Nations Security Council bickers over commas in draft resolutions, a far more efficient form of geopolitics is unfolding at 8:07 a.m. Eastern inside a Times…
BBC Cricket: The Empire Strikes Back—With Sponsors and a Theme Tune By Our Man in the Pavilion Bar, Nursing a Warm G&T and Existential Dread When the BBC’s Test Match Special crackles back onto long-wave each May, you can almost hear the collective sigh of a planet that has quietly agreed to pretend the 21st…
Randy Moss: A Meteor Across Every Sky By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, International Desk To the uninitiated, Randy Moss is merely the greatest deep-threat wide receiver the NFL ever produced—an American folk hero who once famously declared, “Straight cash, homey,” while paying a league fine with dollar bills extracted from his sock like…
Angela Rayner, Graffiti Muse: How One Spray-Can Stencil Became the World’s Rorschach Test By Dave’s International Correspondent, still wiping aerosol off his passport Manchester, England – Somewhere between the kebab wrappers and the drizzle, a life-size stencil of Angela Rayner appeared on a brick wall in Leigh, eyes narrowed, arms crossed, the caption “WORKING CLASS…
South Africa 403 & 194/3; England 592/7d. If those numbers look like a tax return from a failed hedge fund, congratulations—you already grasp the absurdist poetry of modern Test cricket, a sport that still schedules five-day marathons in an era when the average attention span has been reduced to the lifespan of a TikTok clip….
Tesco’s Plastic Fork Recall: A Global Fork-Up in the Age of Infinite Choice Dave’s Locker – International Desk, 23 April 2024 Somewhere between the war in Ukraine, a crypto-exchange implosion, and the latest TikTok of a cat playing the xylophone, Britain’s biggest grocer has decided to upend the planet’s cutlery supply by recalling 400,000 plastic…
DAVID HOPKINSON: THE MAN WHO ACCIDENTALLY BECAME A GLOBAL POLICY WEATHER VANE By Our Correspondent Somewhere over the Mid-Atlantic If you’ve never heard of David Hopkinson, congratulations—you’ve been spared the vertigo of watching a mid-level British civil servant mutate, overnight, into the planet’s favourite geopolitical Rorschach test. In March, Hopkinson—until recently a modest director at…
Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, Is the Last Global Fairy Tale Standing—And That Should Terrify Us All By Our Correspondent in Self-Imposed Exile from Several Commonwealth Realms Somewhere between the collapse of the British pound and the collapse of British politics lies Catherine, Princess of Wales—still smiling that serene, orthodontically perfect smile while the rest…
Stacey Williams and the Algorithmic Afterlife By Our Correspondent, Somewhere over the Mid-Atlantic In the grand bazaar of global notoriety, where reputations are bartered for clicks and redemption arcs are sold by the pound, one name has lately been passed from Lagos group chats to Berlin newsrooms with the hushed urgency usually reserved for currency…
