Athletics vs Cardinals: When Cosmic Irony Dresses in Spandex and Feathers By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Somewhere Over the Pacific If you tuned in expecting a quaint American baseball rivalry, congratulations—you’ve just been punked by the universe. The phrase “Athletics vs Cardinals” is no longer the exclusive property of two teams that trade…
Osaka – Population: 19 million, Sarcasm: Infinite By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk (still jet-lagged since 2019) If Tokyo is the world’s impeccably ironed suit, Osaka is the same suit after it’s slept in a capsule hotel, eaten three sticks of kushikatsu, and decided to pick a fight with the global order. Long dismissed abroad as…
Yahoo Fantasy: The Last Empire Still Flying a 1990s Flag By Our Man in the Cloud Somewhere between the collapse of the Ottoman Empire and the rise of TikTok micro-celebrities, Yahoo Fantasy Sports carved out a digital fiefdom where grown humans trade imaginary athletes like tulip bulbs in 1637. From Singapore to São Paulo, 8.9…
CenterPoint Energy: Houston, We Have a Grid Problem (and It’s Contagious) By the time the lights flickered out in Texas last February, the rest of the planet had already stopped pretending to be surprised. After all, we’ve spent the last decade watching power grids from South Africa to Siberia audition for the same tragicomedy: one…
The Curious Case of Djed Spence, or Why the World Keeps Buying Wing-Backs Like NFTs By Our Man in the Transfer Twilight Zone The planet is presently on fire—literally from Athens to Anchorage—yet the global economy still finds room to obsess over a 23-year-old Englishman whose principal talent is running up and down a patch…
Dodgers vs. Pirates: A Tragicomic Opera Staged on the High Seas of Global Capital By Our Correspondent Somewhere Between a Tax Haven and a Rum-Soaked Dock The eternal pas de deux between dodgers and pirates has always been less a binary clash of good and evil than a recurring dinner party where the appetizers are…
Lush Stores Gaza: When Bubble Bars Meet Border Barriers By Dave’s Far-Flung Correspondent, filing from somewhere with better Wi-Fi than Gaza The first thing you notice is the incongruity: a Lush store—yes, the British purveyor of bath bombs that smell like a fruit salad having an existential crisis—reportedly wants to open in Gaza City. Not…
The Curious Diplomacy of Erin Andrews: How a Sideline Reporter Accidentally Became a Global Rorschach Test By Dave’s International Desk Paris—In a world where heads of state can’t reliably keep their Zoom cameras off, Erin Andrews has improbably become a one-woman foreign-exchange program. The American sportscaster—once best known for asking sweaty linebackers how they feel—now…
Argentina: The World’s Most Consistently Unpredictable Soap Opera By: A Correspondent Who Learned Long Ago Never to Bet Against a Country That’s Already Bankrupt Twice Before Lunch Buenos Aires cafés still smell of burnt sugar and desperation, which is convenient because the IMF is currently asking for both back—preferably in dollars. While the rest of…
CBS Fantasy Football: How an American Pastime Became the Planet’s Most Efficient Sleeper Cell By the time most of Europe is debating whether to raise the retirement age to 75 or simply replace pensions with TikTok dances, a quiet army of 12 million global managers—yes, that is the officially sanctioned euphemism—has already spent the pre-dawn…
Karolína Muchová: The Czech Enigma Who Makes Tennis Cosmopolitan Again By Dave’s Locker International Desk | June 2024 Prague, a city that still smells faintly of Kafka, Pilsner, and the 1989 velvet that refused to get bloody, has coughed up another absurdist protagonist for the global stage: Karolína Muchová. She is currently the only Czech…
Lorenzo Musetti: The Last Italian Romantic in an Age of Algorithmic Tennis By our correspondent in Rome, still waiting for the espresso machine to be fixed since 2019 If tennis were still governed by Renaissance patronage, Lorenzo Musetti would already have a ceiling somewhere—probably the Sistine Chapel gift shop, between Michelangelo’s self-checkout kiosk and a…
