Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and the Quiet Rebellion of Global Cool By the time the Eurozone was debating its eighteenth austerity package and the Pacific was busy swallowing another micronation’s coastline, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander was perfecting a step-back jumper so surgically smooth it could probably negotiate better trade terms than most G-7 delegates. The Oklahoma City guard—Canadian passport,…
The planet’s collective sofa has developed a deeper imprint. From Lagos laundromats live-tweeting Nigerian noir on cracked phones to pensioners in Riga bingeing Korean revenge operas between power cuts, the new movies dropping this week on the major streamers are less “content” than emergency rations for a species that has agreed, tacitly, to stay indoors…
Drew Barrymore: The Planet’s Favorite Child Star Turned Global Comfort Blanket By Dave’s Locker International Desk Somewhere between the fall of the Berlin Wall and the rise of TikTok, Drew Barrymore became the last universally acceptable American export—less carcinogenic than Coke, less bellicose than aircraft carriers, and somehow more soothing than the entire pharmaceutical aisle…
Gemini: The Heavenly Twins Go Global, Again By the time you finish this sentence, three new AI models will have been trained, two crypto exchanges will have imploded, and one astrologer in Mumbai will have blamed Mercury retrograde for all of it. Yet amid the perpetual churn of modernity, the word “Gemini” keeps bobbing to…
In the grand, gaudy casino of global baseball, where every slider is a geopolitical statement and every fastball a referendum on national virility, the name Luis Castillo keeps popping up like a bad penny—or, depending on your passport, a really good one. From the aluminum-roofed ballparks of the Dominican winter league to the corporate cathedrals…
Tyreek Hill Trade: A 4.24-Second Sprint Toward Global Absurdity By “Jet-Lagged” Javier Morales, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker ZURICH—Somewhere between the gnomes counting gold in Bahnhofstrasse vaults and the FIFA executives pretending to read ethics reports, the Tyreek Hill trade reached this Alpine fortress of neutrality and caused the only known spike in heart-rate among Swiss…
Michael Conforto: The Yankee-Scented Rebound the World Didn’t Know It Needed By Camila “Scout” Delgado, Chief Baseball Cynic, Dave’s Locker International Desk Somewhere between Xi Jinping’s Belt-Road ribbon cuttings and the latest EU olive-oil shortage, the planet’s attention turned—however briefly—to a 31-year-old left-handed outfielder from Seattle who still looks like the kid who forgot his…
PARIS—Somewhere between the Champs-Élysées and a dimly lit sports bar in Lagos, the name Terrell Owens still triggers the same half-smirk: the universal facial expression that says, “Yes, I remember the popcorn, the push-ups, and the existential dread of being very good at catching leather in a collapsing empire.” From the vantage point of a…
Pumas, the World’s Sleekest Bureaucrats By Dave’s Foreign Desk, somewhere between a press buffet and a UN climate summit The puma—alias cougar, mountain lion, panther, or, if you’re feeling dramatic, “ghost cat”—has quietly upgraded from regional apex predator to unwitting geopolitical consultant. While humanity argues over carbon credits and TikTok bans, Puma concolor has been…
The Earth Moved—Did Anyone Notice? A Global Dispatch on Today’s Seismological Mood Swings By the time you poured your second cup of coffee, the planet had already thrown three separate tantrums before lunch. A 6.2-magnitude hiccup off the southern coast of Peru jostled Lima’s bankers awake at 4:17 a.m. local time, toppling a few colonial…
David Jonsson: A Small Name in a Shrinking World, Now Available in 4K By the time you finish reading this sentence, another algorithm in Palo Alto will have already decided whether David Jonsson is worth promoting on a Lagos teenager’s feed. Such is the velocity of our planetary fame lottery—one moment you’re rehearsing monologues in…
Tsunami: The Planet’s Loudest Résumé Update By the time you read this, the Indian Ocean plate has already filed another complaint with HR, and the Pacific Ring of Fire is forwarding its resignation letter to whoever still answers geology’s Slack channel. A tsunami—once a boutique disaster relegated to Japanese wood-block prints and the occasional biblical…
