The Curious Case of Harold Fannin Jr., or How a Buckeye Tight End Became the Planet’s Newest Geopolitical Football By the time Harold Fannin Jr. caught his third touchdown against Kent State last September, satellites from three continents had already locked onto the 6-foot-4, 242-pound sophomore. Not because the NSA suddenly cares about MACtion, mind…
When the World Ends, Bravo Will Still Be Green-Lighting Reunions by our correspondent in the last functioning embassy bar, somewhere between Reykjavík and oblivion Somewhere in the rubble of 2024, while governments topple, oceans acidify, and TikTok teenagers auction their bathwater as NFTs, one American man keeps the global living-room lamp on. His name is…
Willy Adames and the Glorious Futility of Loving Shortstops While Rome Burns Dave’s Locker – International Sports & Existential Dread Desk If you’ve been too busy doom-scrolling about the latest currency collapse or wondering which hemisphere will spontaneously combust first, you may have missed the fact that Willy Adames—yes, the Dominican shortstop with the swing…
In a world currently preoccupied with the slow-motion collapse of supply chains, the open-air theater of geopolitical brinkmanship, and the gentle background hum of climate catastrophe, one might be forgiven for forgetting that Dylan O’Brien is still alive and, apparently, thriving. Yet here we are, watching the 33-year-old American actor—once the accidental millennial face of…
Dateline Somewhere Above the Ionosphere—where the Wi-Fi is lousy but the view is unbeatable. While the rest of the planet was busy arguing about whether a deep-fried cicada counts as protein or performance art, two aerial juggernauts were quietly re-writing the rules of who owns the vertical. On one side: Sky—legacy megacorp, proud parent of…
Somewhere above the 47th parallel, under a sky the color of old pewter, the Seattle Mariners are playing baseball—an activity that, to the uninitiated, looks like nine men in pajamas trying to swat a pill while the rest of the planet negotiates grain corridors and microchip embargoes. Yet on this particular evening the Mariners game…
LIZZO SHEDS POUNDS, PLANET SHEDS SANITY: A GLOBAL DISSECTION OF ONE WOMAN’S WAISTLINE AND THE WORLD’S WARPED PRIORITIES Dave’s Locker, International Desk – 02:11 UTC, somewhere over the Atlantic When Lizzo announced last week that she had “lost a little weight,” seismographs from Reykjavík to Riyadh practically twitched. Not because the earth moved, but because…
Sal Stewart: The Accidental Globalist Who Conquered Baseball by Refusing to Leave His Couch Somewhere between the 37th parallel and the cold glow of a laptop screen, Sal Stewart became the planet’s most improbable export: a 21-year-old Cincinnati Reds farmhand whose swing now travels farther than most passports. While diplomats argue over trade routes and…
**Oracle Park, USA –** Somewhere between the garlic-fries fog and the seagull air-raids of San Francisco’s waterfront, the San Francisco Giants are quietly staging a baseball season that matters far beyond the quaint provincialism of American sports pages. While the rest of the planet sorts out grain shortages, proxy wars, and the slow-motion demolition of…
**The Global Scream: How a Child’s Abduction Became the World’s Emergency Ringtone** The amber alert has evolved from a humble American emergency system into humanity’s collective panic button—a digital air raid siren that transforms every smartphone into a handheld megaphone of dread. What began as a tribute to a murdered nine-year-old in Texas has metastasized…
The Man Who Fed the World—And Charged a Service Fee While the rest of us spent the plague years perfecting banana bread and existential dread, Tony Xu was quietly turning the global food chain into a delivery chain. The 39-year-old co-founder and CEO of DoorDash (market cap: bigger than the GDP of Iceland) has spent…
Hirving Lozano and the Global Theater of Transfer-Window Schadenfreude By Our Man in the Departure Lounge If you blinked somewhere between the Tokyo commuter crush and a Lagos traffic jam last week, you probably missed Hirving Lozano’s latest cameo in the never-ending telenovela we politely call “world football.” The Mexican winger—nicknamed “Chucky,” presumably because he…
