Global Dispatch: The Sun — Still There, Still Underappreciated By Santiago “Sunny” Valdez, Senior Irradiated Correspondent Dateline: Somewhere on the daylight side of Earth, where 7.9 billion of us are simultaneously squinting at our phones to complain that it’s “too bright.” The sun—that 4.6-billion-year-old ball of nuclear gossip in the sky—has once again risen without…
The Geological Rise of a Very Human “Josh Rock” Global Dispatch – Dave’s Locker LONDON—Somewhere between the grinding tectonic plates of geopolitics and the sedimentary layers of internet celebrity, a new formation has emerged: “Josh Rock.” At first glance the name sounds like the half-hearted alias of a Bond villain’s henchman, or perhaps the title…
Hatton: The One-Word Riddle Currently Ruining Every Foreign Correspondent’s Sleep Cycle By Our Man in a State of Perpetual Jet Lag Every so often the planet coughs up a proper noun that seems to have been devised by a committee of prankish linguists and bored algorithm engineers. “Hatton” is the latest entry in that noble…
James Beattie: The Scottish Philosopher Who Accidentally Invented Global Burnout Culture By Our Correspondent in a Café That Still Charges for Wi-Fi (Edinburgh, GMT+1) It is 4:07 p.m. local time, and the Edinburgh drizzle is performing its usual impression of a world-weary accountant: constant, grey, and impossible to fire. Inside the café, a barista misspells…
OSMOND IN THE TIME OF CHOLERA (AND TIKTOK) From the Diplomatic Lounge of Dave’s Locker, somewhere above the 38th parallel The name Donny Osmond still triggers Pavlovian flashbacks in three distinct planetary zones. In Manila karaoke bars, “Puppy Love” is the go-to apology ballad for husbands who forgot their anniversaries—nothing says contrition like a falsetto…
Michael Gove: The Eternal Rebound Whose Career Refuses to Die A global tour of the man who keeps re-inventing himself like a budget Bond villain PARIS — Every country has one: the political cockroach who survives scandals, reshuffles, and the occasional electoral Raid can. In France, we call them “les intouchables.” In Japan, they’re the…
When Rubén Sellés was quietly promoted from Southampton’s shadowy analytics dungeon to the bright, unforgiving glare of the touchline last February, the world barely blinked. After all, in the grand geopolitical casino—where presidents gamble continents on Twitter and central bankers move markets with a raised eyebrow—who has calories to burn on a 39-year-old Spaniard learning…
The Jaguar is Dead, Long Live the Jaguar By Correspondent-at-Large, Nairobi-Paris-São Paulo Triangle Somewhere between a Goldman Sachs boardroom and the smouldering edge of the Amazon, the word “jaguar” is being redefined in real time. To Wall Street, it is a brand of luxury electric SUV whose carbon footprint is marketed as “net-zero” (because the…
PARLAY: THE WORLD’S FAVORITE HIGH-STAKES CONVERSATION When the French coined “parler” they merely wanted to talk; when pirates hijacked it into “parlay,” they weaponised chit-chat into a temporary cease-fire so they could haggle over doubloons and throats. Today the term has metastasised across every time zone, a linguistic stowaway riding globalisation’s rum barrel. From hedge-fund…
Cowboys vs. Giants: A Global Fable Starring Ten-Gallon Egos and Corporate Skyscrapers by our man in the cheap seats, somewhere above the Atlantic If you squint from thirty thousand feet, the eternal showdown between Cowboys and Giants looks less like a Monday-night football grudge match and more like the planet’s unofficial operating system. One half…
The Black Gold That Binds Us All Brussels, Belgium – Somewhere between the smoked-glass towers of NATO headquarters and the Kremlin’s gilded halls, the same liquid flows: Russian crude. It’s the punchline nobody asked for in a joke that keeps getting darker. When Russia invaded Ukraine, the West promised to “cut off the artery” of…
Sagapolutele: The Last Name That’s Too Long for Twitter and Too Heavy for Globalization By Dave’s Locker International Desk (with a stiff drink still in hand) The Pacific, that quaint blue puddle where super-powers now play Battleship for real estate, has coughed up another linguistic speed bump: Sagapolutele. Try typing it on a smartphone while…
