Twins vs Royals: The Eternal Cage Match Between Genetics and Genealogy By Our Correspondent in the Republic of Slightly Unhinged Democracies If you’ve spent any time on social media this week, you’ve seen the memes: a pair of identical toddlers in matching rompers squaring off against a pair of middle-aged heirs in identical navy suits,…
When the Earth slips between the Sun and the Moon this week, casting its ruddy shadow across our nearest celestial companion, billions of humans will stop arguing about tariffs, interest rates, and which billionaire most recently insulted which head of state. Instead, they will tilt their heads skyward like synchronized meerkats and murmur variations of…
Spring Valley Fire: A Local Blaze with Global Arsonists By “Scorched” Santiago Vega, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker The first wisps of smoke rose above Spring Valley, Nevada, last Tuesday at 14:37 local time—just late enough in the day for European traders to notice the haze on their Bloomberg terminals and wonder if their algorithmic portfolios…
Super Bowl LX: A Halftime Show the World Couldn’t Mute *Dispatch from the Global Nosebleed Section* If you missed the 2026 halftime spectacle, congratulations—you were probably busy dodging drone strikes, paying rent in a currency that evaporates faster than ethics on a campaign trail, or simply living somewhere the NFL’s broadcast rights haven’t yet colonized….
Blood Moon Diplomacy: How a Rust-Colored Orb Became the World’s Most Honest Mirror ——————————————————————– Tonight the moon will slip into Earth’s shadow and emerge the color of dried blood—an unsubtle reminder that even celestial bodies can’t escape a decent bruising. Across every time zone, billions of necks will crane skyward to witness the same bruised…
Eswatini: The Last Absolute Monarchy That Forgot to Update Its Marketing Strategy By Dave’s Locker International Desk Mbabane—Tucked between South Africa and Mozambique like a polite afterthought, Eswatini (née Swaziland) is the world’s last absolute monarchy whose ruler still insists on calling himself “Ingwenyama” instead of the far sexier “Supreme Leader” or “Emperor of Vibes.”…
In the pantheon of world capitals, Wellington is the one that keeps its head down, politely coughs into its sleeve, and still manages to be the only place on the planet where a mid-grade earthquake counts as Tuesday’s coffee break. From Reykjavík to Riyadh, the city’s name evokes two immediate images: a boot-shaped harbour that…
The DWP Christmas Bonus 2025: A Ten-Pound Token in a Twenty-Pound World By Pascal ‘Peso-Punchline’ Mercier, filing from the departure lounge of an airport that still pretends budget airlines have legroom — London – British tabloids call it a “festive bung”; the Department for Work & Pensions prefers the bureaucratically neutral “Christmas Bonus.” Either way,…
Pyongyang’s New Wet Suits: What a Rumored North Korean Navy SEAL Program Says About the World’s Favorite Hermit Kingdom Dave’s Locker | International Desk | By E. V. Mortensen SEOUL—Somewhere between the 37th parallel and the Sea of Japan, a man in a knock-off Crye Precision uniform is reportedly trying to grow a beard that…
Ljubljana, May 2024 – Slovenia, population two million and change (roughly the head-count of a midsize Shanghai apartment block), is once again being invited to punch well above its Alpine weight. The opponent this week is Sweden, whose population is larger than the entire Western Balkans combined, whose arms exports keep half the world’s warlords…
Saints vs Warriors: A Global Scorecard of Moral Glory and Collateral Damage Byline: Dave’s Locker, International Affairs Desk Across continents, the phrase “saints vs warriors” no longer belongs to stained-glass windows or dusty history books. It’s trending on Manila TikTok, trending in Kyiv basements, trending wherever the Wi-Fi still works. From the Vatican’s corridors to…
RABAT-NAMEY CORRIDOR — Somewhere between the mint tea in Casablanca and the dust storms in Niamey, two sovereign states have decided to treat the planet to a very North-African edition of “Why Can’t We Be Friends?” On paper, the spat between Morocco and Niger looks like a standard diplomatic lovers’ quarrel: the Moroccan ambassador was…
