The Straits Times: Singapore’s Little Red Dot That Reads Like a Cold Shower to the World’s Hot Mess By the time you finish your first espresso in Paris, The Straits Times has already delivered four breaking-news alerts, two ministerial Facebook posts, and a stern op-ed on the perils of chewing gum. For a newspaper headquartered…
The Curious Case of Sunday Trading Laws: When God, GDP, and Grocery Lists Collide By Our Correspondent, Still Recovering from a Black-Market Avocado Bought on the Sabbath Somewhere between the pearly gates and the self-checkout aisle, humanity continues its millennia-old debate: should the seventh day be reserved for rest, retail, or restocking the fridge with…
Philadelphia’s Weather Forecast: A Micro-Tragedy With Global Ticket Sales by R. S. Vane, International Desk Philadelphia woke up this morning to a sky the color of last week’s coffee grounds and a forecast that could generously be called “schizophrenic.” By noon the temperature had already performed three costume changes, hailstones auditioned for a Broadway revival…
The Bigger Tantrum: How Israel Became Everyone’s Favorite Emotional Support Conflict If the planet were a badly lit bar at 3 a.m., Israel would be the patron standing on a stool, waving a half-empty flag and explaining—loudly—why everyone else is ruining the evening. The rest of us, nursing watered-down geopolitics and existential dread, keep ordering…
Weather Near Me, Apocalypse Near Us By R. Salter, Senior Meteorological Misanthrope, Dave’s Locker It’s a breezy 19 °C on my balcony in Lisbon—perfect for watching the Tagus glitter like a cheap disco ball while the rest of the planet melts, freezes, or combusts, depending on postal code. The phrase “weather near me” used to…
The Diplomat of Diseases: How a Tiny Kissing Bug Became a Global Gate-Crasher By L. Sinclair, Foreign Correspondent-at-Large If romance had a vector, you’d expect roses, violins, or at least a half-decent dating app. Instead, the Western Hemisphere’s most ardent suitor is a thumb-sized assassin in a striped waistcoat: Triatoma infestans, better known as the…
The Weather in New York: A Global Spectacle of Snow, Stocks, and Existential Dread By Dave’s Locker International Desk If you ever want to watch the planet’s collective anxiety crystallize into a single snowflake, just wait for a forecast in New York. A city that already believes it is the center of the universe suddenly…
BBC Newsround: The Empire’s Kindergarten Desk Explains the World While the World Burns By Our Man in the Departure Lounge, somewhere between duty-free and existential dread In the grand bazaar of global news, where war correspondents growl over satellite phones and oligarchs purchase entire front pages like impulse gum, BBC Newsround remains the only stall…
**BIBIMBAP AND HANDCUFFS: HOW A GEORGIA IMMIGRATION RAID BECAME KOREA’S LATEST EXPORT** *The global economy works in mysterious ways—Samsung builds your phone, Hyundai builds your car, and apparently, the Korean government builds your immigration enforcement policies.* In a delightful twist of globalization that absolutely nobody asked for, South Korean immigration officials recently descended upon the…
Miss America 2026: When the World’s Prettiest Diplomat Waves the Flag for Soft Power Atlantic City, January 2026 – The sash industry is booming again. While half the planet argues over water rights and the other half wonders which streaming service will cancel them next, the Miss America Pageant has quietly re-branded itself as “Global…
Tomorrow’s Weather: A Global Forecast of Mild Panic and Strategic Umbrella Deployment By Our Correspondent Who Has Already Lost Three Brollies to the Gods of Irony SEOUL—Across the planet, the phrase “내일 날씨” (“naeil nalssi” – tomorrow’s weather) is being whispered, Googled, or barked at smart speakers in 167 languages. It sounds benign, like asking…
The Mushroom Diplomat: How Erin Patterson Accidentally Became a Global Cautionary Tale When the Australian state of Victoria released its findings this week on the lethal beef Wellington that killed three people and hospitalized a fourth, the name Erin Patterson resurfaced like a stubborn fungus after rain. To most of the planet, she remains the…
