Twitter Down: Planet Earth Holds Breath, Discovers Oxygen Still Works By Our Man in the Ether When the blue bird finally keeled over at 03:47 UTC, the silence was so complete you could almost hear the world’s influencers hyperventilating into ring lights. From Lagos to Lisbon, Seoul to São Paulo, the sudden absence of 280-character…
Downdetector: the world’s most reliable panic barometer by our roaming correspondent, still waiting for the Wi-Fi to load in the departure lounge Every civilization eventually builds a shrine to its own fragility. The Romans had aqueducts, the Victorians had rail timetables, and we—citizens of the glowing rectangle—have Downdetector. Visit the site at 03:12 local time…
Kurt Zouma and the Cat Heard ’Round the World A dispatch from the frontline where football, felines and global outrage collide By the time the grainy Snapchat clip reached Jakarta, the cat had already achieved what most UN envoys only dream of: unanimous, cross-continental condemnation. In a split-screen universe where grainy war footage from Mariupol…
Keanu Reeves: The Last Reluctant Globalist By Lena Drăghici, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker Somewhere between the bullet-time lobby shootout and the NFT apocalypse, Keanu Reeves became the world’s only universally acceptable export. While Boeing can’t keep its doors attached and Silicon Valley keeps reinventing the fax machine with blockchain sprinkles, the 59-year-old actor glides through…
CRDO: The Tiny Semiconductor Stock Quietly Holding the Global Economy Together—Until It Doesn’t By the time most citizens of Earth have finished their first cup of overpriced coffee, the share price of Credo Technology Group Holding Ltd (NASDAQ: CRDO) has already bounced around like a diplomatic cable in a shredder. Based in San Jose—Silicon Valley’s…
Pam Shriver: The Accidental Oracle of a World That Forgot How to Volley By Our Correspondent, Somewhere Over the International Date Line You know the world is in dire straits when a retired American doubles specialist becomes the most coherent voice in global sport. Yet here we are, watching Pam Shriver—she of the 1980s teased…
The Weeknd in San Antonio: A Global Pop Ritual in the Shadow of Collapse Dave’s Locker International, filed from somewhere between the Alamo and TikTok San Antonio—where the ghosts of 1836 mingle with vape smoke and the faint smell of churros—played host this week to Abel Tesfaye, the Canadian R&B warlock who answers to “The…
Michelle Dockery and the Aristocratic Hangover: How One English Actress Became a Global Rorschach Test PARIS—On a rain-slick Wednesday along the Boulevard Saint-Germain, I watched a French teenager in a knock-off Downton Abbey maid’s apron pose for TikTok beside a homeless man selling knock-off Downton Abbey tea towels. Both were, in their own ways, paying…
Stephen Ehikian, a name that sounds like it should belong to a Bond villain’s accountant, has quietly become the most interesting man in Silicon Valley—and, by extension, the world. While you were doom-scrolling about melting ice caps and the latest celebrity divorce, Ehikian has been stitching together the global digital nervous system with the nonchalance…
Harvard, that venerable brick-and-ivy ATM for the ruling class, has lately become the planet’s most expensive piñata. From Brasília boardrooms to Bangalore coffee shops, the university is now cited as shorthand for a global elite that can’t quite decide whether it’s enlightened or simply entitled. When the Supreme Court clipped its affirmative-action wings last June,…
Paris, 14 July – The planet’s film critics have spent the past fortnight in a collective swoon over Emerald Fennell, a 38-year-old British polymath who appears to have cracked the algorithm for making audiences laugh, squirm, and question their moral compasses—all while wearing couture. From Cannes to Busan, from the Dolby Theatre to whatever windowless…
Jon Jones: Humanity’s Last Riot-Control Specialist By Dave’s Foreign Correspondent, filed from a hotel bar where CNN is muted but the fight replays never are The first time most of the planet heard about Jon Jones, he wasn’t being celebrated for his footwork or his ability to fold human joints like origami; he was on…
