Andrew Coltart, the man who once described himself as “the best golfer you’ve never heard of unless you’ve heard of me,” has spent the last three decades proving that modest celebrity is the most cosmopolitan currency on Earth. Born in Dumfries, Scotland—a town whose chief export is drizzle and whose airport runway doubles as a…
Boston College Football: America’s Gladiator Academy and the Global Export of Controlled Chaos By Our Correspondent Somewhere Over the North Atlantic The first thing foreign observers notice about Boston College football is that it is neither in Boston nor—depending on the season—particularly collegiate. The Eagles play in Chestnut Hill, a leafy enclave whose gothic spires…
Kentucky vs South Carolina: A Microscopic Lens on Humanity’s Macro Meltdown By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk, somewhere between a whisky hangover and a diplomatic visa queue From the outside looking in, the annual collision of Kentucky and South Carolina on a rectangle of manicured grass in the southeastern United States is, strictly speaking, a college…
Nine Nameless Refrigerators and One Shared Hangover A Global Dispatch From the Morgue in Tijuana, Population: Everyone TIJUANA, Mexico – If you’ve ever wondered what the end of globalisation looks like, it’s probably a stainless-steel drawer marked “John or Jane Doe #7” in a border-town morgue with a busted air-conditioner and a BBC crew poking…
The Ryder Cup MC: When a Golf Tournament Becomes a Metaphor for Civilizational Collapse By Our Man in the Rough, filing from Marco Simone Golf & Country Club, Rome ROME—In the shadow of a 16th-century aqueduct and the ghost of Berlusconi’s bunga-bunga era, the Ryder Cup’s master of ceremonies took the first tee box microphone…
Penn State Football: America’s Colosseum, Now Streaming to a World That’s Forgotten Bread State College, Pennsylvania—population 40,000, or roughly one-third of the queue for a visa appointment at any U.S. consulate these days—erupts every autumn Saturday into a roar that can be heard, metaphorically, from Lagos to Lahore. To the uninitiated foreign eye, Penn State…
Straka Golf and the Quiet Globalization of a Very Loud Game by Dave’s Locker International Desk If you were anywhere near the Algarve last spring, you might have mistaken the muffled thuds for distant artillery. They were, in fact, the sound of Austrian Sepp Straka—world-ranked somewhere between “household name” and “who?”—driving Titleists into Portuguese cork…
Universitario vs. Cusco: A Fever Dream at 3,400 Meters, Brought to You by Late-Stage Capitalism LIMA—Somewhere between a quinoa-flavored energy drink sponsorship and a cryptocurrency jersey patch, two football clubs named after institutions nobody fully trusts anymore—Universitario de Deportes and Cienciano del Cusco—met this week in a match that felt less like sport and more…
Noah Price Boxer, Age, and the Global Fetish for Numbers By our man in the cheap seats, somewhere over the Pacific Somewhere between a grainy Instagram story and a Kazakh betting site, the phrase “Noah Price boxer age” has become a minor international obsession—proof that humanity will always find fresh ways to avoid its own…
The Curious Case of BC Football: How a Provincial Pastime Became a Global Rorschach Test By Our Correspondent, filed from an airport lounge where the Wi-Fi costs more than the beer Vancouver—On a continent currently debating whether democracy is an app or a bug, British Columbia’s football scene has improbably become a geopolitical mood ring….
Phoenix, Arizona – In a world where grain futures gyrate like a Tokyo pachinko machine and the Arctic melts faster than a popsicle in Riyadh, the American collegiate pastime known as football somehow still commands transcontinental bandwidth. This weekend’s curiosity: the Arizona Wildcats hosting the Iowa State Cyclones in what U.S. broadcasters call a “non-conference…
PACHUCA VS SAN LUIS: A QUIET CLASH IN THE GALAXY’S BACK ALLEY By Our Man on the Barricades, Somewhere Between Apathy and Awe The Estadio Hidalgo, Tuesday night, lights humming like a dying fluorescent bulb. On paper it’s merely Matchday 14 of Mexico’s Liga MX: Pachuca, the miners-turned-money-ball prophets, versus Atlético de San Luis, a…
