**Forza Horizon 6: The World’s Most Elaborate Distraction from Climate Catastrophe** As the planet’s temperature graphs resemble a meth addict’s EKG and democracy continues its global impression of a drunk tourist on a Barcelona stag do, Microsoft has graciously announced Forza Horizon 6—because nothing quite says “we’re all going to be fine” like pretending to…
The planet wakes up every morning to a single, synchronized ritual: the world’s 2.2 billion coffee drinkers collectively stagger toward a cup of bitter salvation. From the frostbitten commuter in Helsinki to the night-shift nurse in Lagos, we all agree—through chattering teeth and existential dread—that life is marginally less unbearable once infused with a roasted…
The World According to a Watered-Down Espresso By Diego V. Serrano, Senior Caffeine Correspondent PARIS—On the banks of the Seine, where existential dread is served in porcelain cups, the Americano has become the official beverage of people pretending to read Sartre on their MacBooks. One part espresso, two parts hot water, three parts delusion that…
Carlos Sainz: The Last Gentleman Gladiator in Formula One’s Circus of Excess By Ignacio “Nacho” Valdés, International Desk MADRID—Somewhere between the champagne-soaked debauchery of Monaco and the grim, sponsor-laden paddock in Baku, Carlos Sainz Jr. continues to look faintly embarrassed to be here. That is no small feat in a sport where drivers now arrive…
Deus Ex: Mankind Re-Divided – Why a PS5 Polish Job Feels Like Watching the World Burn in 4K Zurich – Somewhere between the 27th cryptocurrency crash and the 43rd UN climate summit that ended in a catered fondue deadlock, Square Enix decided what humanity really needed was shinier vents to crawl through. Thus the “Deus…
The Miracle of Flight, or How to Sit in a Tin Can and Pretend It’s Progress By our man in seat 47B, somewhere between Doha and existential dread Gravity, once the universe’s way of telling us to stay humble, has been thoroughly overruled. Every three seconds, somewhere on the planet, 300 tons of aluminum and…
**Standing with Giants: A Global Perspective on Standing Desks and the Illusion of Progress** In the fluorescent-lit cathedrals of corporate power from Silicon Valley to Singapore, a revolution is taking place—one that requires its adherents to stand. The standing desk, that peculiar altar of modern office culture, has become the latest status symbol in a…
TOKYO—The Pokémon Company announced this week that it will establish an internal “Homeland Security Division,” an initiative that—depending on your geopolitical persuasion—either signals late-stage capitalism’s final victory lap or proves we now live in a timeline where Pikachu has a higher security clearance than most NATO officers. International observers, still recovering from the revelation that…
Dubai, the city that built the world’s tallest billboard to itself and still ran out of space for irony, has quietly tightened a velvet rope into a noose. The “UAE visa ban” that diplomats now murmur about over lukewarm canapés is less a single decree than an evolving mood swing: some passports are suddenly radioactive,…
Sonay Kartal: When a British Teenager Turns Wimbledon into a Global Metaphor for Collapse By the time you finish this sentence, another geopolitical crisis will have erupted somewhere, TikTok will have minted a new deity, and your crypto portfolio will have dropped another 12 percent. Yet for one delirious July afternoon, the planet pressed pause…
**The Jordan Thompson Phenomenon: How One Man’s Career Epitomizes Our Global Obsession with Mediocrity** In the grand theater of international sports, where legends are forged in the crucible of competition and heroes emerge from the most unlikely corners of our increasingly connected world, Jordan Thompson stands as a testament to humanity’s remarkable capacity for making…
Storm Season, Global Edition: When Clouds Go Full NATO By the time the first thunderclap rattled windows in Lagos last Tuesday, meteorologists from Geneva to Jakarta were already nodding with the weary recognition of parents watching the same toddler throw the same tantrum on a different continent. The thunderstorm—once a quaint meteorological footnote somewhere between…
