Padres Schedule: The Global Domino Theory of 162 Baseball Games By the time the first pitch of the San Diego Padres’ season is hurled at Petco Park, the rest of the planet will already have endured three currency crises, two coups, and one viral dance that has mercifully failed to cross the Pacific. Yet somewhere…
**The Age of Kimmel: How One Man’s Birth Year Became a Global Obsession** In a world where nuclear powers engage in Twitter diplomacy and billionaires race to Mars while Earth burns, humanity has found its most pressing international concern: Jimmy Kimmel’s age. The 56-year-old late-night host has unwittingly become a planetary fixation, proving that in…
Stansted: The Last Waiting Room Before the Empire’s After-Party By our man in the departure lounge, still clutching a limp Pret baguette like it’s a diplomatic passport LONDON—Stansted Airport sits 30-odd miles northeast of the capital like a hangover that refuses to apologise. Once a Second World War bomber base, now rebranded as “London” by…
**Rapture Ready: The Global Implications of Apocalypse Tourism** *From Jerusalem to Jakarta, the curious phenomenon of rapture-ready Christians is reshaping geopolitics, economics, and the occasional real estate transaction.* While most of humanity stumbles through Tuesday afternoon blissfully unaware of their impending doom, a peculiar subset of Christians worldwide have their bags packed for a rather…
Robert De Niro, International Man of (Mild) Mystery By Our Correspondent in an Airport Lounge Where the Wi-Fi Charges by the Minute There is a peculiar kind of diplomatic immunity that celebrities acquire once their faces have been projected onto every screen from Lagos to Lagos—yes, both the Nigerian and Portuguese ones. Robert De Niro…
McCartney Kessler and the Quiet Collapse of Global Relevance By Our Correspondent, Somewhere Over the Atlantic The name McCartney Kessler sounds, at first blush, like an indie-film protagonist who discovers the cure for ennui in a Reykjavik basement and then forgets it in an Uber. Instead, she is a 23-year-old American tennis player who, last…
The Curious Global Footprint of Jimmy Kimmel’s Wife (Yes, That One) PARIS—On paper, Molly McNearney is simply the co-head writer of Jimmy Kimmel Live! and the woman who married a man famous for pranking children into believing their Halloween candy has vanished. Yet in the grand, malfunctioning kaleidoscope of international celebrity, her name now pings…
Tokyo Game Show 2025: Where the World Presses Start to Escape Itself By Our Correspondent Still Recovering from the After-Party Karaoke Tax The trains into Makuhari Messe ran on time, which should have been the first clue that reality had been patched overnight. By 9 a.m. on opening day, 300,000 pilgrims—developers, streamers, crypto refugees, and…
Minnesota Senator Nicole Mitchell, Burglary Charges, and the Quiet Global Collapse of Political Integrity By the time the sun rose over Detroit Lakes, Minnesota—population 9,000, walleye per capita 47—State Senator Nicole Mitchell had already become an involuntary ambassador for a very twenty-first-century brand of political farce. Arrested at 4:45 a.m. inside her stepmother’s house, allegedly…
The RGG Summit—short, appropriately, for the “Really Grim Gathering”—wrapped up this week in a decommissioned submarine pen outside Reykjavík, proving once again that the world’s most consequential conversations happen wherever the coffee is worst. Delegates from 47 nations, three breakaway republics you’ve never heard of, and one micronation run by a crypto baron in a…
**The People’s Streaming Service: How Pluto TV Became Global Capitalism’s Guilty Pleasure** In the grand theater of late-stage capitalism, where subscription fatigue has become a legitimate medical condition and Netflix passwords are traded like cigarettes in a digital prison yard, Pluto TV has emerged as the streaming equivalent of finding a twenty-dollar bill in your…
Ben Rortvedt: The Accidental Geopolitical Constant in a World Falling Apart By Correspondent-at-Large, Dave’s Locker Somewhere between a drone strike in the Red Sea and another celebrity tequila launch, Ben Rortvedt—backup catcher, career .190 hitter, owner of a name that sounds like a Scandinavian flat-pack shelving unit—keeps turning up on Major-League rosters like an unexplained…
