The world, it seems, has become a planet-sized waiting room where everyone politely pretends they’re “just a little under the weather,” while secretly Googling “covid symptoms” in 47 languages. From the karaoke bars of Seoul to the camel markets of Riyadh, the universal refrain is the same: “It’s probably allergies,” followed by the staccato cough…
Brett James and the Quiet Implosion of the American Song-Export Economy By Our Correspondent Who Has Spent Too Many Nights in Airport Lounges Listening to Country Mixes NASHVILLE—While the rest of the planet argues over whose naval drone gets to block whose grain freighter this week, Brett James is hunched over a Steinway in a…
Snowfall: The Last White Lie the Planet Still Tells Itself By Dave’s Locker International Desk Somewhere above the 45th parallel, a Russian snowplow driver named Sergei is chain-smoking his way through another December night, pushing wet sludge off the M-10 while Spotify shuffles between Tchaikovsky and techno. Six thousand kilometers west, a Boston hedge-fund intern…
Matteo Arnaldi: The Quiet Kid from Sanremo Who’s Already Booking First-Class Seats on the Apocalypse Express By the time you finish skimming this paragraph, Matteo Arnaldi will have won another tiebreak, pocketed another ranking-spike courtesy of some top-ten headcase who double-faulted on set point, and politely reminded the ATP that the Italian Renaissance isn’t just…
Phoenix, Arizona—population 1.7 million, plus however many Canadians are hiding in the guest casitas right now—has posted its 31st consecutive day above 110 °F (43 °C). While the local Chamber of Commerce has rebranded this as “sun-powered living,” the rest of the planet is taking notes on what happens when a city decides to test…
**The Accidental Oracle: How a Welsh Tennis Player Became the World’s Most Honest Prophet** In an era where billionaires rocket themselves into space for sport and politicians discover new depths of shamelessness daily, humanity has improbably found its most authentic voice in a 25-year-old Welsh tennis player ranked outside the top 100. Adam Walton, a…
From the moment the world learned that Keanu Reeves—patron saint of gentle memes, accidental fashion icon, and the only man who looks cool eating a sandwich on a bench—had a girlfriend, the international press corps pivoted with the precision of a Swiss watch. Suddenly, Alexandra Grant, an American artist who had spent two decades calmly…
The Curious Geopolitical Afterlife of Morgan Ortagus By “Buckshot” Blaise, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker Some people leave government and fade into lucrative obscurity—board seats, defense-contractor sinecures, the occasional discreet yacht christening. Others refuse the quiet life, preferring to ricochet across cable-news soundstages like a diplomatic pinball. Morgan Ortagus belongs firmly in the second camp, and…
**The Colossus of Claims: Morgan & Morgan’s Global Shadow** From the neon canyons of Times Square to the rain-slicked streets of Mumbai, one truth unites humanity: when the elevator cable snaps, everyone speaks the same language—litigation. Enter Morgan & Morgan, America’s largest injury firm, now expanding faster than a Silicon Valley unicorn’s ego. With 1,000+…
Trent Reznor and the Quiet Global Takeover: How a Man in Black Became the Planet’s Background Music You’ve heard him whether you wanted to or not. That metallic heartbeat thumping under the credits of every prestige television show? Reznor. The slow, icy dread that creeps into your earbuds at 3 a.m. on a Tokyo night…
Google just coughed up Gemini, the latest multi-modal oracle trained on more text than any human could skim in a lifetime, and the planet reacted with the usual cocktail of awe, terror, and LinkedIn hot takes. From Brussels boardrooms to Nairobi cyber-cafés, the consensus is that this chatbot-on-steroids is less a product launch and more…
Emmerdale’s Mackenzie Boyd: How One Yorkshireman’s Love Triangle Became the UN’s Soft-Power Crisis By A. L. Scoville, Senior Cynic-at-Large GENEVA—While the Security Council quarrelled over grain corridors and submarine cables, a more insidious diplomatic meltdown was unfolding in a snug Yorkshire pub. Emmerdale’s Mackenzie Boyd—part-time farmer, full-time human regret—has reportedly been “spiralling” after learning that…
