The Chelsea vs Leicester City fixture, a quaint Midlands-London pas de deux, has quietly become the Premier League’s own Rorschach test for the global order. Watch it from a café in Lagos where the generator coughs like an asthmatic goalkeeper and you’ll see a morality play about inherited privilege versus insurgent hustle. Stream it in…
The circus has moved on from Miami’s pastel parking-lot chic to the altogether more earnest asphalt of Barcelona, which means F1 “today” is already tomorrow somewhere else. Still, if you squint past the carbon-fiber confetti and the obligatory shots of drivers pretending to read the energy-drink label on their steering wheels, you’ll see the same…
The gentle art of watching Premier League clubs court a 22-year-old Londoner who still looks like he’s borrowing his dad’s suit reached new levels of geopolitical absurdity this week. Cole Palmer—Chelsea’s resident smirk-wearing, left-footed chaos generator—has reportedly become Manchester United’s latest object of desire, a move that, on the surface, is about football but, beneath…
The Bournemouth–Newcastle Rivalry, or How a Seaside Town and a Former Mining Hub Accidentally Became Emblems of Late-Stage Capitalism By Santiago “Sam” Delgado, International Correspondent-at-Large, Dave’s Locker It began, as all modern catastrophes do, on a spreadsheet. In 2009, AFC Bournemouth—then languishing in League Two, a division so obscure that even its own highlights package…
Rome, Eternal City, capital of popes, emperors, and—on any given Derby della Capitale—capital of unfiltered collective psychosis. While the rest of the planet frets over supply chains, submarines, and the precise shade of Mr. Musk’s mood ring, two square kilometres of the Italian peninsula prepare to detonate over 22 men in shorts chasing a ball….
BERLIN—On a crisp Sunday when most sane humans were still negotiating the terms of their hangovers, 50,000 certified optimists assembled at the Brandenburg Gate to discover, yet again, that the human body was not designed to travel 42.195 km at speed. The 50th anniversary BMW Berlin Marathon—slogan: “The Fastest Course on Earth, Terms & Conditions…
Victor Robles, a man whose passport says “Dominican outfielder” but whose résumé now reads “temporary deity,” scaled a wall in Seattle last night and stole a home run from the collective jaws of defeat. The clip—already looping on every screen from Lagos laundromats to a Kremlin-adjacent sports bar that definitely isn’t bugged—shows Robles levitating above…
Every April, while the rest of the planet toggles between existential dread and the next dopamine hit from a dancing-cat reel, the ancient Suffolk county town of Ipswich stages its Half Marathon—a thirteen-point-one-mile exercise in collective denial that is quietly redefining what it means to be “globalised.” To the untrained eye it’s just 2,000 Brits…
Athletics Schedule Today: A Global Parade of Sweat, Sponsors, and Existential Dread By Special Correspondent, Somewhere Over the International Dateline Today, from the frostbitten tracks of Reykjavik to the humidity-drenched infields of Jakarta, humanity’s finest sinewy specimens are dutifully consulting laminated timetables and wondering whether the 200-meter heats clash with their third anti-doping control of…
Colts vs Titans: A Forecast from the End of the World By our Special Correspondent in the Hotel Bar of a Depressed Airport NASHVILLE—Somewhere above runway 20R, a Lufthansa cargo jet groans south toward São Paulo, loaded with European pharmaceuticals and the existential dread of a continent that can’t quite decide if the next war…
Ballon d’Or 2025: A Glittering Lie We All Agree to Believe Paris, 1 October 2025, 20:00 CEST. That’s the date and time the Châtelet Theatre will once again transform itself into a cathedral of selective amnesia. Mark it in your calendar—right next to the dentist appointment you’ll postpone and the climate summit you’ll ignore. For…
BAKU, Azerbaijan — The F1 circus roared into the Caspian last weekend, and—quelle surprise—everyone left with their pockets lighter and their livers heavier. The Baku City Circuit is what happens when a petro-state decides that Monaco is too subtle and Monaco’s residents too hard to arrest. Over three days, the world’s most expensive bumper-cars threaded…
