SCOTUS Goes Global: How Nine Robed Americans Quietly Decide the Temperature of the Planet by Lucía “Lucky” Valenti, Senior Cynic-at-Large, Dave’s Locker There is a small, marbled building in Washington whose air-conditioning bill rivals the GDP of Belize. Inside, nine mortals in black polyester gowns spend their days deciding whether the rest of us may…
Arundhati Roy, India’s One-Woman UN General Assembly with Better Hair If the world were a slightly fairer place, Arundhati Roy would be collecting frequent-flier miles for every border her mind has crossed without a visa. Instead, the 62-year-old writer-activist collects court cases the way philatelists hoard stamps—methodically, obsessively, and with a faint air of amusement…
Roxanne Perez and the Global Gladiator Economy by L. Marín, Senior Correspondent, Somewhere Over the Mid-Atlantic If you squint hard enough from the window of a red-eye leaving JFK, you can almost see the entire planet orbiting around a 23-year-old in neon kneepads. Roxanne Perez—born Carla Gonzalez in the Rio Grande Valley, now billed from…
Paddy Pimblett and the Global Gladiator Economy By Dave’s Locker International Desk Liverpool’s own Paddy “The Baddy” Pimblett, a man whose hairline looks like it’s been negotiating Brexit since 2016, walked into the Octagon last Saturday night and did what the World Bank, the IMF, and three successive U.S. administrations have failed to do: he…
Derrick Henry’s Fumble: A Tiny Football Stumble, a Monumental Metaphor for Planet Earth By the time the Tennessee Titans’ human freight-train coughed up the ball in the red zone last Sunday, it was already past midnight in Kyiv, lunchtime in Shanghai, and—crucially—beer-thirty in every sports bar from Nashville to Naples. Derrick Henry’s fumble was not…
Super Bowl LIX landed in New Orleans last night like a gaudy asteroid, trailing 200 million television viewers, a month-long security lockdown, and enough corporate cash to refinance a medium-sized republic. From São Paulo flats to Mumbai bars, humans who will never see an American football in person stayed up past decency to watch grown…
Istanbul – Somewhere between the kebab smoke and the sangria haze, Turkey and Spain have decided to flirt again. The rendezvous is billed as a “strategic partnership summit,” which in diplomatic French means “let’s see how much we can irritate everyone else while pretending we’re just talking trade.” The rest of the world, of course,…
Kenneth Gainwell, the Memphis-born running back whose surname sounds like a self-help seminar for hedge-fund managers, is currently the most geopolitically intriguing 5-foot-9, 200-pound American in cleats. While the planet debates tariffs, tundra melt, and whether this year’s Eurovision will be decided by tactical drone strikes, Gainwell quietly embodies the late-capitalist paradox: a man whose…
Coaches Poll Top 25: How a List of American College Teams Quietly Became the World’s Most Watched Unofficial Geopolitical Barometer By Our Man in the Departure Lounge, somewhere between Gate 42 and Existential Dread PARIS—While delegates at the COP summit were busy arguing over whether the planet should be saved by Tuesday or by Thursday,…
Cricket scores—those innocuous strings of digits that flicker on scoreboard LEDs and smartphone screens—have quietly become the planet’s most reliable geopolitical tea-leaf reader. From Dhaka to Durban, when the runs tick upward or wickets clatter like cheap cutlery, entire national moods swing faster than a Boris Johnson resignation. Consider last Saturday in Lahore: Pakistan posted…
Miami Dolphins: How a Faded NFL Dynasty Became the World’s Accidental Morality Play An international dispatch by our man in the cheap seats, still jet-lagged from last week’s existential layover in Doha The first thing you notice in Tokyo sports bars at 4 a.m. is that no one is actually watching the Miami Dolphins. They’re…
The planet’s most expensive mobile circus has published its 2025 itinerary, and—surprise—everywhere it lands it will find locals protesting, politicians posing, and hoteliers salivating like greyhounds at the starting gate. Twenty-four races, five continents, one global pandemic’s worth of carbon footprint: the Formula 1 calendar is back, and this year it is even more determined…
