**Greenland 2: The Sequel Nobody Asked For, But Everyone’s Watching** COPENHAGEN—In what can only be described as geopolitical déjà vu with a Nordic twist, the Trump administration’s 2019 real estate fever dream has mutated into “Greenland 2: Arctic Boogaloo.” This time, the sequel comes with higher stakes, chillier reception, and the kind of international awkwardness…
Peter Friedlander: The Man Who Accidentally Became the World’s Most Powerful Algorithm Whisperer By our correspondent, filing from somewhere with functioning Wi-Fi and questionable coffee It was a Tuesday in March—exactly the kind of grey, non-descript Tuesday that makes stock exchanges yawn—when Peter Friedlander, a mild-mannered data ethicist from Wellington, New Zealand, uploaded a 97-line…
The planet’s rotation didn’t pause, stock exchanges didn’t suspend trading, and no emergency UN sessions were convened, yet somewhere between the Sea of Japan and the Pacific a 25-year-old human with a 6-foot frame and a 94-mph fastball quietly shifted the tectonic plates of global sport. Yoshinobu Yamamoto, the latest export from Osaka’s baseball factory,…
Starz: How a Second-Tier Cable Channel Accidentally Became a Geopolitical Chess Piece By International Correspondent, still jet-lagged in three time zones Somewhere between the fall of Kabul and the rise of the Korean zombie wave, executives at Starz—the American premium network whose name looks like it was typed by an over-caffeinated brand consultant—realized they were…
SÃO PAULO—In a continent where inflation routinely outruns defenders and political scandals travel faster than through-balls, Wednesday night’s Libertadores grudge match between São Paulo FC and LDU Quito felt like a continental referendum on who still believes in tomorrow. The Morumbi, a 72-thousand-seat monument to Brazilian delusion, was only three-quarters full—apparently even hope has a…
Reid Hoffman, the man who taught the world to swap business cards without actually touching paper, is now busy monetizing the apocalypse one startup at a time. From the ashes of a LinkedIn-fortified professional dystopia, he emerges as the globe’s favorite venture-capital undertaker: always first in line to finance the coffin, the floral AR wreath,…
**The Beautiful Game’s Ugly Truth: When São Paulo Met LDU Quito and Football Remembered It’s a Business** In the grand theater of South American football, where passion typically trumps reason and fans would rather miss their mother’s funeral than a derby match, São Paulo’s recent encounter with LDU Quito served as a delightful reminder that…
BEAVERS WITHOUT BORDERS: HOW ONE MAN’S NICKNAME BECAME A GLOBAL PARABLE By Our Correspondent, still recovering from a three-day layover in the nowhere lounge of Doha Dylan Beavers is not, disappointingly, an aquatic rodent with a degree in civil engineering. He is a 23-year-old outfielder from California whom the Baltimore Orioles drafted 31st overall last…
Beaver Stadium at twilight looks like any other concrete leviathan—until you realize 110,000 people have voluntarily gathered in rural Pennsylvania to watch twenty-year-olds risk CTE for a bronze sculpture of a mountain lion that has never actually existed in the wild east of the Mississippi. Across the Atlantic, Ukrainians huddle in metro stations wondering if…
Porto: Europe’s Forgotten Belle Finds New Suitors—Again By our correspondent, still nursing an espresso and a grudge in the Ribeira They arrive in droves now—Singaporean venture scouts, Californian angel investors, Berlin art-school dropouts with a blockchain for bacalhau—descending on Portugal’s second city like bargain hunters who’ve just heard the outlet mall is giving away free…
Barcelona vs. The Rest of the Known Universe (And the Universe Is Winning on Penalties) Somewhere between the Mediterranean’s sun-kissed narcissism and the Pyrenees’ bored shrug at borders, Barcelona has spent the last decade perfecting the art of simultaneously being the protagonist and the punch line of global affairs. Whether the opponent is Real Madrid…
**The Digital Undead: Windows 10’s Global Resurrection Tour** In a world where even our toasters demand software updates, Microsoft has graciously decided to play digital necromancer with Windows 10—because apparently, we’ve all collectively agreed that planned obsolescence is just too mainstream for 2024. The tech giant’s Extended Security Update (ESU) program for Windows 10, now…
