Montez Sweat: The Defensive End Exporting American Anxiety to a World Already on Edge By the time Montez Sweat was traded from the Chicago Bears to the Washington Commanders last October, the planet had already endured two years of pandemic, spiraling inflation, and the creeping realization that every smartphone notification might herald either a missile…
The Gladiators of Santa Clara: How a 49ers Game Became a Global Mood Ring By Our Correspondent, still jet-lagged from the last apocalypse SANTA CLARA—Somewhere between the Caspian Sea evaporating and the yen staging a one-currency rebellion, the San Francisco 49ers took the field on Sunday and, for three merciful hours, allowed the planet to…
The Curious Global Phenomenon of Brasileirão: How Brazil’s Chaotic Football Carnival Became the World’s Favorite Morality Play By Dave’s Locker International Desk RIO DE JANEIRO—Every Sunday from May to December, a country roughly the size of the continental United States momentarily forgets its inflation, its political telenovela, and the fact that half the Amazon is…
From Anaheim to Ankara: How a Cartoon Waterfowl Became a Global Rorschach Test By Our Correspondent, still jet-lagged in a Sheraton near LAX ANAHEIM—The arena gates open at 5 p.m. and a flood of humanity pours in: Danish exchange students wearing Teemu Selänne jerseys they found on Depop, a South Korean tour group clutching Mickey…
The Accidental Diplomat: How Case Keenum Became the NFL’s Only Functioning Global Institution By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk In a world where multilateralism is collapsing faster than a European bank on a Friday afternoon, we have—against all odds—found a rare example of sustained international cooperation: Case Keenum’s passport stamp collection. Yes, the journeyman quarterback best…
The Curious Case of Erika Kirk: How One Mid-Level Bureaucrat Accidentally Became the World’s Most Watched Woman GENEVA—In a glass-and-steel conference room overlooking Lake Geneva, Erika Kirk, a 42-year-old trade attaché from a midsized European nation most people confuse with a discount airline, is learning that global notoriety travels faster than diplomatic mail. What began…
Mensik: The Czech Kid Who Just Made Wimbledon a Global Gladiator Ring Again By our man in the cheap seats, nursing a warm beer and existential dread PARIS—When 17-year-old Jakub “Menšík” (pronounced “men-sheek,” rhymes with “oblique”) crashed the Madrid Open party last month, beating two Top-20 players before politely asking the ball kids for a…
The Jets’ New Defensive Coordinator: America’s Last Line of Defense (Yes, Really) By the time you read this, some poor soul in Florham Park, New Jersey, has already accepted the ceremonial sword of Damocles known as the “Jets Defensive Coordinator” title. The announcement ricocheted across continents, because in 2024 even a glorified clipboard holder in…
Seattle Sounders vs Austin: When Cascadia Rain Meets Texas Swagger in a Match Nobody’s Embassy Will Be Watching If you were hoping for geopolitical fireworks, look elsewhere. The Seattle Sounders versus Austin FC will not redraw any borders, re-price oil futures, or trigger a UN Security Council session. And yet, on a balmy Saturday night…
Santos 1–2 Atlético San Luis: A Micro-Drama Staged on the Fault Lines of an Imploding Planet Somewhere between the 38th minute and the apocalypse, Santos Laguna conceded a second goal to Atlético San Luis, and the cosmic shrug could be heard from Torreón to TikTok. On paper it was merely Matchday 17 of Liga MX’s…
Coldwater Episodes: When the Planet Decides to Play God and We Pretend to Be Surprised By Our World-Weary Correspondent It began, as these things always do, with an anomaly. One Tuesday in June, the North Atlantic’s surface temperature plunged three degrees Celsius in 48 hours—roughly the same amount of time it takes a London commuter…
Alex de Minaur and the Great Southern Hemisphere Bluff By “Gravedigger” Garcia, International Sports Correspondent SYDNEY—Somewhere between the 17th time-zone change and my third airline meal that tasted like laminated regret, I realized the planet has conspired to make us care deeply about a 5-foot-9 Australian who hits a yellow ball for a living. Alex…
