Schiphol, 05:47 a.m. local time: the departure boards flicker like a bad poker tell, then politely inform 70,000 passengers that their flights have been “re-accommodated to tomorrow, maybe.” Behind the scenes, ransomware—christened “Skytanic” by some under-caffeinated analyst—has locked down everything from baggage algorithms to the barista card readers. Welcome to the latest pan-European wake-up call:…
Riyadh’s Night of Living Brands Al-Nassr vs Al-Riyadh, 26 October 2024, Mrsool Park—kick-off just after the last private jet drops off another influencer who couldn’t point to Saudi Arabia on a map but can pronounce “Ronaldo” in seven accents. The fixture itself is, on paper, a mismatch: Al-Nassr, the galaxy-branded superclub with CR7 as its…
Cade Klubnik, quarterback savior of the Clemson Tigers, woke up last Saturday on a continent that still thinks a “tight end” is an unfortunate consequence of yoga class. Yet by nightfall, his 38-35 overtime escape against Notre Dame had ricocheted through encrypted group chats from Singapore to São Paulo, proving once again that American college…
The Cucurella Doctrine: How a Spanish Left-Back Became the Canary in Capitalism’s Coal Mine By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk Barcelona, Stamford Bridge, and a nondescript industrial town in Extremadura—Marc Cucurella has now contaminated all three with the same virus: hope. Once a sprightly La Masia graduate who looked like he’d been raised on tapas and…
The United Nations has managed climate summits, pandemic treaties, and the occasional fistfight between diplomats, but nothing quite prepared the global commentariat for the moment a 20-year-old Slovenian named Benjamin Šeško became the most valuable Balkan export since cheap weekend breaks to the Dalmatian coast. In the grand tradition of football turning obscure Eastern European…
RIYADH — The desert air crackled with all the manufactured drama of a Netflix trailer last night as Al-Nassr and Al-Riyadh locked horns in what the league’s marketing department has optimistically labeled “The Capital Clásico.” That descriptor, like most things in modern football, is 30 percent history and 70 percent scented candle: a gentle lavender…
Bruno Fernandes: The Last Romantic in a World of Spreadsheet Football Somewhere between the ruins of Old Trafford’s fading empire and the fluorescent glow of Premier League accounting departments, Bruno Fernandes has become the last man alive who still believes football is meant to be played with a bleeding heart rather than a balance sheet….
Cole Palmer: The Quiet English Kid Quietly Reshaping Global Football’s Hierarchy By Dave’s Foreign Desk, somewhere between a damp Tuesday in Manchester and a sun-baked Champions League night LONDON — The world’s supply chains are sputtering, glaciers are auditioning for puddles, and democracy is locked in a never-ending group chat with itself, yet the planet’s…
Andrey Santos and the Global Assembly Line of Football Futures By our correspondent in the departure lounge of another “next big thing” The name Andrey Santos currently sits in football’s transfer inbox like a PDF marked “urgent—open only if you’re desperate to look visionary.” Chelsea bought him in January 2023 for a rumoured €12.5 million,…
Clemson’s 2024 Slate: A Tiny Upstate Town Schedules the End of the World—Or at Least the End of Saturdays in September By Dave’s Locker International Affairs Desk (with a flask) Somewhere between the Mekong Delta and the M25, the planet’s 8-billion-strong population is currently debating tariffs, tourniquets, or TikTok—but in Clemson, South Carolina, a hamlet…
Global Shipping’s Newest Scapegoat: How Robert Sánchez Accidentally Became the Face of Post-Pandemic Logistics Schadenfreude By Dave’s Locker International Desk The name Robert Sánchez is currently trending in fourteen languages, three parliamentary inquiries, and at least one very sour group chat of Rotterdam dockworkers. That is a remarkable feat for a 52-year-old Spaniard whose day…
Dateline: Geneva, where the chocolates are sweet but the blackmail is artisanal. A curious phrase—“badger game”—has resurfaced in diplomatic circles, tabloid back pages, and encrypted Telegram threads from Lagos to Lima. At first glance it sounds like a rural pub sport involving small, stripey mammals and questionable alcohol. In reality it is the oldest multiplayer…
