Queens, New York – Somewhere between the 7-train’s metallic screech and the faint aroma of Sabrett onions, the New York Mets took the field last night in what the club optimistically billed as a “crucial mid-season tilt.” To the 34,117 paying customers inside Citi Field—and, more importantly, to the millions of bleary-eyed insomniacs watching on…
Kojey Radical and the Quiet Insurrection of the Global Village ≈600 words | Dave’s Locker | Global Desk Somewhere between the 5 a.m. queue for Ubers at Heathrow Terminal 5 and the 3 a.m. chicken shop diplomacy of Dalston, London keeps exporting messiahs in sneakers. The latest candidate is Kojey Radical—an artist who insists he…
Camp Randall: Where America’s Colosseum Meets the World’s Schadenfreude By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Nursing a Warm Beer and Global Resentment MADISON, WISCONSIN – On any given autumn Saturday, 80,000 cheese-brained pilgrims storm a red-brick fortress on the edge of a glacial lake, howling a war chant that sounds suspiciously like a Bavarian…
**NASDAQ Futures: Where the World’s Money Goes to Dream and Die** The sun never sets on the NASDAQ futures market—mostly because it’s traded electronically in Chicago, Tokyo, London, and pretty much anywhere insomniacs with Bloomberg terminals gather to worship at the altar of American tech optimism. While you’re sleeping, somewhere in Singapore a trader is…
Autumn Begins—Again—While the World Pretends to Notice Dave’s Locker, International Desk | September 22, 2024 Today, at 12:44 UTC, the Northern Hemisphere officially tilts far enough from the sun to earn the label “autumn,” prompting roughly 6.7 billion people to suddenly remember their inexplicable fondness for pumpkin. In the Southern Hemisphere the same moment registers…
Kate O’Connor, the 23-year-old Northern Irish heptathlete who just out-jumped, out-threw, and out-run the rest of humanity at the European Combined Events Cup in the Estonian capital of Tallinn, is currently being hailed in the global press as “the next Jessica Ennis-Hill.” That’s sportswriter code for “please don’t notice we recycled this headline in 2016,…
**The Global Ballet of Anna Hall: How One Heptathlete Became an Unlikely Geopolitical Chess Piece** In the grand theater of international sport, where nations perform their carefully choreographed dance of peaceful competition while simultaneously stockpiling weapons behind the curtain, Anna Hall has emerged as an unexpected protagonist. The 22-year-old American heptathlete—whose greatest crime appears to…
The Ryder Cup Schedule: A Fortnight When the Planet’s Problems Are Quietly Relegated to Noise-Cancel Mode by Our Sardonically Jet-Lagged Correspondent, somewhere between Marco Simone and existential dread Rome, late September. While the rest of humanity toggles between wildfires, currency meltdowns, and the latest geopolitical TikTok, a discreet corner of the Eternal City has been…
Lil Tay, the nine-year-old “flexer” who once bragged about owning a Lamborghini she could neither legally drive nor spell, has returned from a five-year digital exile like a pop-culture Lazarus—except the stone has been rolled away by marketing consultants instead of angels. From Jakarta to Johannesburg, the announcement that the child influencer is “back and…
Bright Star Next to Moon: A Global Flash-Mob of Skyward Glances By the time the sun slipped behind the smog-padded horizon of São Paulo on Monday evening, social media from Lagos to Lahore had already exploded with the same grainy phone photo: a diamond-hard speck welded to the moon’s cheek like an overly attached ex….
PARIS – Somewhere between the cigarette haze of a Montmartre café and the neon glow of a Tokyo pachinko parlor, the planet’s collective id has decided its new sovereign is a 38-year-old American wrestler who enters arenas wearing a transparently Freudian cape of rhinestones and daddy issues. Cody Rhodes—yes, the one with the surname that…
Emmerdale Spoilers: John Sugden’s Return and the Global Village That Won’t Stop Watching by Dave’s Locker International Desk If a tree falls in the Yorkshire Dales and nobody live-tweets it, did it really happen? Apparently not—because when ITV accidentally let slip that John Sugden is scheduled to lurch back into Emmerdale sometime this summer, the…
