The Global Bazaar of Bang, or How to Arm Your Neighbor in Five Easy Steps By Our Man Somewhere Between the Hague and a Hardened Bunker Geneva—Here, in the city that gave the world both the Red Cross and a 1.50-franc espresso, diplomats still pretend that weapons are merely “controlled commodities.” One floor above the…
The Global After-Party Nobody RSVP’d To: Andrade’s Quiet Coup in the Age of Loud Everything While the rest of the world was busy doom-scrolling through a pandemic, a land war, and Elon Musk’s latest hobby, a soft-spoken Brazilian quietly annexed a corner of global culture that most of us didn’t realize was up for grabs….
The Georgia Tech Score Heard ’Round the World By Our Correspondent Who Still Owes Student Loans in Three Currencies ATLANTA—Somewhere between the peach-scented humidity of Georgia and the algorithmic chill of a Bloomberg terminal, a number flickered across millions of screens this week: Georgia Tech 68, Opponent 65. On the surface it’s merely the final…
San Diego vs Montana State: A Microscopic Earthquake in the Global Coliseum By Diego “Apocalypse Adjacent” Morales, Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk If you blinked last Saturday, somewhere between the Met Gala’s corpse-bride couture and the latest BRICS summit communiqué, you missed it: San Diego State University (SDSU) edged Montana State University (MSU) 25-23 in a…
In the grand theater of global spectacle—where billionaires race to Mars and teenagers topple governments with a meme—there stands a bald Dutchman hurling tungsten missiles at a board the size of a dinner plate. Michael van Gerwen, three-time world champion and walking endorsement for prenatal caffeine abuse, has become the unlikely barometer for how the…
The world’s attention, already stretched thinner than a politician’s promise, pivoted westward last night to a patch of Astroturf in San Diego where Oregon State and Texas Tech—two universities whose combined endowments still can’t match what the EU spends on olive-oil subsidies—decided to settle their differences with shoulder pads and play-action fakes. For 60 commercial-splintered…
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania—population 302,971 and falling—versus the entire state of West Virginia—population 1.8 million and, depending on whom you ask, still falling—may sound like the geopolitical equivalent of arguing over the last lukewarm pierogi at a family funeral. Yet from thirty thousand feet, or more precisely from a window seat above the North Atlantic, this modest…
Tuskegee vs Jackson State: A Southern Football Grudge Match That Somehow Matters to the Planet By Hans-Joachim “H.J.” van der Waal, International Correspondent, Dave’s Locker ATLANTA—In the same week that COP28 delegates in Dubai were counting carbon credits on gold-plated abacuses, two historically Black universities in the American Deep South scheduled a football game that…
North Dakota vs. Montana: A Prairie Cold War the World Pretends Not to Notice By “Marcel Dufresne,” Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker PARIS—While the rest of the planet obsesses over which septuagenarian will control the nuclear football, a quieter, far more existential struggle has broken out on the high plains of the United States: North Dakota…
Facundo Buonanotte is 18, Argentinian, and already the subject of more WhatsApp voice notes than the IMF’s latest bailout. In a world where teenagers normally go viral for dancing next to moving cars, he has chosen the quaint hobby of threading 40-yard diagonals through Premier League midfields. The kid is Brighton’s newest bauble, a £6…
MUNCIE, Indiana—Somewhere between the soy fields and the haunted Arby’s off I-69, Ball State University is once again asking the eternal question: can a mid-major football program survive the twenty-first century without either becoming a farm team for the Southeastern Conference or selling its soul to a streaming service whose Terms of Service were drafted…
When the Telegram pings hit at 03:14 CET, veteran correspondents from Kyiv to Kuala Lumpur reached for the same weary adjective: “another.” Iryna, surname withheld until her family in Vinnytsia could be notified by someone other than a push-alert, was found sprawled across a Brussels pavement with the sort of puncture-count that turns cocktail napkins…
