**From Fenway to the Fall of Empires: How the Red Sox Standings Mirror a World in Decline** While the world watches grainy TikToks of Ukrainian drone strikes and central bankers debate whether to crash the housing market slowly or all at once, the Boston Red Sox have spent the spring perfecting the art of hovering…
Vanessa Bryant: The Accidental Global Empress of Grief Management By our man in the departure lounge, filing from somewhere over the Pacific It’s a peculiar sort of twenty-first-century coronation: one moment you’re the discreet spouse of a basketball polyglot who sells sneakers to Jakarta and jerseys to Lagos, the next you’re the planet’s reluctant grief-czar….
World Suicide Prevention Day, 10 September, is the one calendar square when humanity collectively decides that living is, on balance, preferable to the alternative—at least until the next quarterly earnings report. The United Nations, ever the sentimental host, invites every member state to light candles, ring bells, and tweet emojis in a synchronized display of…
Twice a year, planet Earth performs its most democratic magic trick: the global disappearing act we call “time change.” One moment it’s 2:00 a.m.; the next it’s either 1:59 a.m. for the second lap or 3:00 a.m. on fast-forward—depending on which side of the equator you’re pretending to sleep on. From Reykjavík to Riyadh, no…
NEW YORK—This morning, as the Hudson River looked suspiciously like the Thames on a bad day, New Yorkers discovered that their weather had once again become a global spectacle. A stubborn low-pressure system—one that had already battered Lisbon, flirted with Reykjavík, and ghosted Casablanca—decided that the only place worth ruining was Midtown. Satellite images showed…
Jenna Dewan and the Soft-Power Ballet of Planet Earth by Dave’s Locker Global Desk PARIS — While COP negotiators in Bonn argue over commas in the climate text, and the BRICS+ bloc quietly re-carpets the world in yuan, a far more potent form of soft power pirouettes across our collective attention span: Jenna Dewan’s career….
The Colossus of North London Has Arrived—Now Let’s See Who Notices By Diego “Match-Day Malthus” Serrano, filing from the global buffet of existential dread Haringey, London – Somewhere between the artisanal coffee concessions and the 65-metre bar that could hydrate a medium-sized nation, Tottenham Hotspur Stadium yawns open like a titanium clam that swallowed a…
The Knicks Abroad: How a New York Basketball Punchline Became a Universal Metaphor for Hopeless Devotion By Special Correspondent, Dave’s Locker Global Desk NEW YORK—From the vantage point of a rooftop bar in Hong Kong, the Knicks look almost noble. Their orange-and-blue jerseys glow on flat-screens above the harbor, a flickering totem of New York…
**Article 4: The Fine Print That Keeps the World Spinning (and Occasionally Imploding)** GENEVA—Tucked between the glossy brochures of global governance lies Article 4, that unassuming clause in the International Treaty on [Insert Acronym Here] which diplomats invoke at 3 a.m. when the can has been kicked so far down the road it’s technically in…
GENEVA—At 06:00 CET sharp, 1.3 billion smartphones chirped in unison, each screen lighting up with the same promise: “Mercury retrograde ends today—expect clarity.” From Lagos to Lima, commuters who can’t remember their Wi-Fi passwords nodded sagely, as if cosmic bookkeeping had finally been reconciled. Somewhere above the Atlantic, an algorithm at Meta HQ tallied the…
TOKYO—At 3:47 a.m. local time, while the rest of the city pretended to sleep off another salary-man sake bender, 27-year-old Hoshino Yui refreshed her phone and watched Dogecoin tick up 11 percent. Halfway around the world, in a São Paulo favela where the power flickers more often than a Tinder date, 19-year-old Lucas was doing…
**Mercury Prize 2025: Britain’s Musical Self-Congratulations Go Global** *By our correspondent who has witnessed the slow-motion collapse of Western civilization but still appreciates a good bassline* The Mercury Prize—the UK’s annual exercise in proving that Britannia still rules the waves, at least metaphorically—descended upon London’s Hammersmith Apollo last night with all the self-congratulatory pomp of…
