Trey Benson and the Curious Case of the Global Running Back Industrial Complex By Dave’s Locker International Desk In a world where grain shortages, crypto meltdowns, and billionaires cosplaying rocket men dominate the headlines, the meteoric ascent of one Trey Benson—Florida State sophomore running back, 6-1, 223 lbs, reportedly capable of outrunning guilt—somehow warrants a…
The Curious Case of Tommy DeVito: How a Fourth-String Quarterback Became a Global Metaphor for the Year 2023 In a world where nuclear powers trade playground insults on social media and cryptocurrency exchanges evaporate faster than a Moscow winter, the international significance of Tommy DeVito might seem, at first glance, roughly equivalent to the geopolitical…
Michael Vick: The Quarterback Who Went Global by Way of a Dogfight When Michael Vick’s name surfaces in polite conversation from Berlin to Bangkok, it is rarely preceded by “three-time Pro Bowler” and almost always followed by the Germanic hiss of “Hundekampf.” The American football star’s spectacular fall from grace in 2007—bankruptcy, 23 months in…
Tyler Johnson and the Curious Alchemy of Global Attention By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk It’s 3 a.m. in Dubai, which means the trading screens have just gone quiet and the city’s army of sleep-deprived analysts are scrolling Instagram to see what exactly Tyler Johnson did this time. By 4 a.m. in London, the FT’s early-bird…
Madrid, 3 a.m. local time—though the hour is largely theoretical in a country where dinner starts when most Scandinavians are already in REM sleep. Spain, that sun-bleached amphitheater of ancient grudges and modern appetites, is once again the place where Europe tests whether optimism can be reverse-engineered from a hangover. While the rest of the…
Is Micah Parsons Playing Today? A Question That Echoes from Lagos to London, from Tokyo to Tehran By the time most of Europe’s cafés are pulling their first espressos, a small but telling slice of humanity is frantically thumbing refresh on their sports apps, wondering whether the Dallas Cowboys’ resident quarterback-eater will suit up. The…
Jim Irsay: The Billionaire Bard of America’s Midlife Crisis By “Hapless” Henrietta Beaufort, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker PARIS—While France agonises over pension reform and Britain cycles through prime ministers the way a teenager burns through vape pods, the United States has found its own uniquely baroque spectacle: Jim Irsay, owner of the Indianapolis Colts, is…
Robert Kraft: Portrait of a Billionaire in the Age of Globalized Schadenfreude By the time the news of Robert Kraft’s alleged misadventure at a Florida strip-mall spa reached the breakfast tables of Singapore, the story had already been translated into seven languages, meme-ified in four alphabets, and turned into a cautionary haiku on Japanese Twitter….
Calvin Austin III, 5’9″ in cleats and 4.32 seconds from zero to existential dread, is the sort of human highlight reel who makes every passport-holding couch potato wonder why we bothered inventing the metric system. The Pittsburgh Steelers’ rookie wideout—fresh off Memphis tape that looks like it was sped up by an intern with a…
The AP Poll Is the World’s Most Tolerated Lie—And Everyone Keeps Pretending Otherwise By “Globetrotting” G. M. Lefèvre, Senior Cynic-at-Large, Dave’s Locker PARIS, FRANCE—Every Monday at 2 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (7 p.m. GMT, 3 a.m. Tuesday in Pyongyang for the truly committed), a cabal of 62 American sportswriters and broadcasters releases a ranking that…
Flushing Meadows, Queens—where the Long Island Expressway coughs up its commuters and the aroma of fried dough collides with jet exhaust—has once again become the planet’s most ostentatious tennis court. For two weeks every late summer, the US Open transforms a former ash heap into a stage where geopolitics, corporate choreography, and fragile human tendons…
It began, as these things often do, with the polite fiction that nothing was at stake beyond the usual patriotic pantomime. Yet when Türkiye and Spain squared off in Berlin’s Olympiastadion for their Euro 2024 quarter-final, the planet’s more excitable commentators insisted the match was really a referendum on neo-Ottoman swagger versus post-imperial Iberian melancholy,…
