Bradford City vs Huddersfield: Two Post-Industrial Towns Try to Feel Something Again —————————————————————– The world’s attention, when not glued to thermobaric TikToks or the latest Central Banker Panic Index, occasionally drifts toward West Yorkshire—where Bradford City and Huddersfield Town renew a rivalry so old it predates both Brexit and coherent Brexit planning. On Saturday these…
A Yacht, a Missing Brit, and the Eternal Optimism of the Guilty The small island of St. John, USVI—population 4,170 and one functioning ATM—has spent the past three years playing unwilling host to a reality-TV pilot nobody asked for. Starring: Ryan Bane, American boat owner and amateur bodyguard to the stars; Sarm Heslop, British former…
PARIS—Somewhere between the fall of Kabul and the collapse of the Lira, humanity found a new daily barometer for civilizational decline: a five-letter word that may or may not contain two vowels and our collective dignity. The “Wordle hint” has become the lingua franca of a planet too exhausted to read the news but still…
How a Friday-Night Lights Scoreboard in Michigan Became the Ouija Board of Global Destiny By A. R. Blackstone, Senior Correspondent, Somewhere over the Mid-Atlantic There is something almost touching—if one’s heart still admits the emotion—about the ritual posting of MHSAA football scores every autumn weekend. A constellation of adolescent gladiators in polyester armor pushes pigskin…
Bitcoin: The Glorious Global Game of Make-Believe We All Pretend Has Rules By A Correspondent Who Still Owns Some, Just in Case Marrakesh, Morocco – While the call to prayer echoed over the medina last Friday, a French tourist in a linen suit tried to buy saffron with Bitcoin. The shopkeeper, who has survived three…
Arsenal Team News: A Global Tragedy in Three Acts By Eduardo “Ed” Sardonique, International Affairs & Existential Dread Correspondent LONDON—Somewhere between a drone strike in the Red Sea and a TikTok of a cat playing the xylophone, Arsenal Football Club released their latest injury bulletin. In any other week the communiqué would have slithered quietly…
The Transnational Aftermath: How Truck Accident Lawyers Quietly Oil the Wheels of Global Trade When a 40-ton Ukrainian grain hauler T-boned a Romanian fuel tanker outside Budapest last October, the first responders were predictably local: Hungarian firefighters, Slovak medics, a Czech haz-mat crew. The last to arrive—but the first to start invoicing—were the lawyers, parachuting…
Times Now, or the Art of Watching the Planet Burn in Real Time By Our Man in Everywhere at Once PARIS—The phrase “times now” used to belong to poets and prophets, those gentle souls who warned that the end was nigh but still had the courtesy to schedule it for next Thursday. These days the…
Univision Noticias: The Spanish-Language News Empire Quietly Deciding What 500 Million People Laugh, Cry and Panic-Buy About ———————————————————————————————————————— If the global news cycle were a seedy nightclub, Univision Noticias would be the velvet-rope bouncer who lets your cousins in first, pats the rest of the world down for contraband grammar, and still pockets a tip…
امید جهان and the Great Global Consolation Prize by Dave’s Locker International Desk The Persian phrase “امید جهان” translates, with suspicious tidiness, as “hope of the world”—a label so grandiose that only marketing departments or desperate diplomats could have coined it. Yet in 2024 the expression has migrated from Tehran’s coffee-house poetry nights to the…
**The 19-Year-Old Who Just Outran Nationalism: How Erriyon Knighton Became a One-Man UN** While the world’s superpowers were busy measuring missiles and rewriting maps, a teenager from Florida just reminded everyone that the only borders that truly matter are the white lines on a running track. Erriyon Knighton’s 19.49-second 200-meter sprint didn’t merely break a…
The Azores: Nine Volcanic Pawns in the Atlantic Chess Match By the time you finish reading this sentence, a Chinese container ship, a Russian spy trawler, and an American drone will all have glided past the same mid-ocean speck of basalt that Europeans once mistook for the lost continent of Atlantis. Welcome to the Azores—nine…
