**Article 4: The Fine Print That Keeps the World Spinning (and Occasionally Imploding)** GENEVA—Tucked between the glossy brochures of global governance lies Article 4, that unassuming clause in the International Treaty on [Insert Acronym Here] which diplomats invoke at 3 a.m. when the can has been kicked so far down the road it’s technically in…
GENEVA—At 06:00 CET sharp, 1.3 billion smartphones chirped in unison, each screen lighting up with the same promise: “Mercury retrograde ends today—expect clarity.” From Lagos to Lima, commuters who can’t remember their Wi-Fi passwords nodded sagely, as if cosmic bookkeeping had finally been reconciled. Somewhere above the Atlantic, an algorithm at Meta HQ tallied the…
TOKYO—At 3:47 a.m. local time, while the rest of the city pretended to sleep off another salary-man sake bender, 27-year-old Hoshino Yui refreshed her phone and watched Dogecoin tick up 11 percent. Halfway around the world, in a São Paulo favela where the power flickers more often than a Tinder date, 19-year-old Lucas was doing…
**Mercury Prize 2025: Britain’s Musical Self-Congratulations Go Global** *By our correspondent who has witnessed the slow-motion collapse of Western civilization but still appreciates a good bassline* The Mercury Prize—the UK’s annual exercise in proving that Britannia still rules the waves, at least metaphorically—descended upon London’s Hammersmith Apollo last night with all the self-congratulatory pomp of…
Greenwich University: The Diplomatic Degree That Travels Better Than Your Expired Passport by our London Bureau Chief, still jet-lagged since 1997 There are, broadly speaking, two types of British universities: the ones that look like Hogwarts and the ones that look like a provincial airport. The University of Greenwich—sprawled across the meridian that divides East…
**Sean Penn: The Diplomat Nobody Asked For** In an era where celebrity diplomacy has become as common as influencer-branded water bottles, Sean Penn stands as perhaps the most improbable statesman of our times—a man who somehow managed to transform from Spicoli into something resembling Henry Kissinger in cargo pants. The Oscar-winning actor’s evolution from Hollywood…
GENEVA—While the Doomsday Clock ticked to 89 seconds-to-midnight and oligarchs shopped for citizenship-by-investment, roughly one-eighth of humanity paused this morning to ask a single, burning question: does today’s Wordle contain a double letter? From Lagos lunch breaks to Seoul subway cars, from São Paulo favela Wi-Fi cafés to Luxembourg banking-firm open-plan serfdoms, the five-by-six grid…
Alexander Armstrong: Britain’s Smiling Reconquista of the Global Living Room By our International Bureau Chief (who once spent three hours in a Moldovan airport watching Pointless reruns on loop) It’s 3 a.m. in Singapore, the air is thick with durian and existential dread, and yet the hotel bar’s lone television glows with an improbable sight:…
CBeebies iPlayer: The Last Empire Still Exporting Soft Power in Pajamas By Dave’s Locker International Desk In the grand pageant of post-Brexit Britain—where the Union Jack now doubles as a do-it-yourself ration book—there remains one export that still clears customs without a lecture on chlorinated chicken: CBeebies iPlayer. While Her Majesty’s Government busies itself re-negotiating…
Solana Price: The Global Mood-Ring Nobody Asked For By our correspondent in transit between time zones and tax shelters Singapore, 3 a.m. local time—while the rest of the city-state pretends to sleep, three screens glow in a co-working pod that smells faintly of Tiger beer and existential dread. On them: Solana flickering at $142.78, up…
Coop Live: Manchester’s Newest Temple to Late-Stage Capitalism Opens Its Doors—The World Watches, Slightly Hungover By our correspondent who still owns a Discman Manchester, United Kingdom – Humanity has finally built the thing it always needed: a £365-million arena bolted to a shopping centre, wrapped around a train station, stuffed with tacos, and christened “Coop…
**The Cassie Donegan Paradox: How One Woman’s Disappearance Became the World’s Favorite Spectator Sport** *By our international correspondent who’s stopped believing in coincidence* — DUBLIN—Cassie Donegan, 29, vanished from a pub bathroom here on March 3, and within 72 hours her name was trending in 42 languages, including Tagalog and Icelandic. The Irish Gardaí, still…
