Lee Greenwood and the Curious Export of American Chest-Thumping By Our Man in Exile, Somewhere Over the Pacific The name Lee Greenwood still rings a bell in certain karaoke bars from Manila to Murmansk, usually right after the host announces “Free shots for anyone who hits the high note on the chorus.” For those who…
Mike Trout and the Cosmic Joke of Global Stardom By our man in the cheap seats, somewhere over the Pacific When the name Mike Trout surfaces in a bar in Manila, a café in Lagos, or a noodle stall in Chengdu, the reaction is the polite nod normally reserved for a cousin’s baby photos: vaguely…
Under the shadow of Appalachian foothills, where strip-mall sushi meets Civil War reenactments, the Kennesaw State Owls have decided to migrate. Not to richer feeding grounds—this is still collegiate athletics, not venture capital—but upward into the Football Bowl Subdivision, that glitzy aviary where ESPN cameras preen the plumage and the cadaverous remains of amateurism are…
**The Great Vaccine Waltz: How CDC COVID Shots Became the World’s Most Exclusive Democracy** If there’s one thing humanity excels at, it’s turning salvation into a spectator sport. While the CDC’s COVID-19 vaccines were busy saving American lives, the rest of the planet watched with the peculiar mixture of envy and schadenfreude usually reserved for…
Lafayette Football: The Tiny, Militantly American Sport That Somehow Still Matters to the Rest of Us Bylines from Parisian cafés, Lagos traffic jams, and the sort of Tokyo izakaya that smells like soy sauce and regret. The words “Lafayette football” conjure, to most citizens of Earth, a baffled shrug followed by the inevitable follow-up: “Is…
**The World’s Favorite Spectator Sport: Watching America Argue With Itself About Free Speech** *By Our Correspondent Who’s Watched This Rodeo From 42 Different Countries* GENEVA — While Americans feverishly debate whether their First Amendment rights extend to shouting racial slurs on social media or refusing to bake cakes for weddings that offend their delicate sensibilities,…
**The World’s Favorite Reality Show: Why Trump’s Poll Numbers Still Matter (Even If You’d Rather They Didn’t)** While Americans obsess over their former president’s approval ratings with the fervor of teenagers checking Instagram likes, the rest of us watch from the cheap seats of this tragicomedy, popcorn in hand, wondering when the intermission might finally…
Charleston, South Carolina—population 137,000, median age 35.8, median home price $390,000—added one more grim statistic on the night of 17 June 2015: nine black parishioners murdered during Bible study by a 21-year-old white nationalist who wore his bowl-cut like a defiant middle finger to modernity. Dylann Roof, international observers noted with the weary shrug of…
Chris Briney and the Global Ripple of a Quiet American Heartbreak By Our Correspondent in Exile, Somewhere Over the Mid-Atlantic The United States, that perpetually surprised adolescent superpower, lost another citizen last week. Chris Briney—age 45, father of two, possessor of an all-American surname that sounds suspiciously like a discount supermarket chain—was shot dead in…
Tyler Robinson Charges: A Global Spectator’s Guide to Another American Legal Opera By Dave’s Locker International Desk PARIS—When news broke that U.S. prosecutors had unsealed a 17-count indictment against influencer-turned-crypto-guru Tyler Robinson, the planet did what it always does when America stubs its institutional toe: it grabbed popcorn. From the glass towers of Singapore to…
The NFL’s New Record Field Goal: When a 66-Yard Footnote Becomes the World’s Loudest Sigh By Dave’s Locker International Desk In a stadium built on landfill, beneath a sky that smelled faintly of cheesesteak and existential dread, Philadelphia Eagles kicker Jake Elliott booted a 66-yard field goal on Sunday night. The ball traveled so far…
**The Cartography of American Exceptionalism: How Week 2 NFL Coverage Maps Explain Everything Wrong with Global Media** While the world grapples with climate refugees, supply chain collapses, and the occasional flirtation with nuclear annihilation, America’s most pressing cartographic concern remains which swath of Indiana gets to watch the Cowboys implode against the Jets. The NFL’s…
