NFL 2025 Schedule: The Empire’s 272-Game Roadshow Rolls On, and the Rest of the World Pretends Not to Watch By the time the NFL unveiled its 2025 regular-season slate on Thursday night—an event now ceremonially streamed to 195 countries, including some that still outlaw American football as “ritualized concussion”—the league had already booked more hotel…
Savannah Guthrie: America’s Alarm Clock at the End of the World Dispatch from the Bureau of Smiling Through the Apocalypse By the time the sun claws its way over the Pacific, Savannah Guthrie has already interviewed two heads of state, moderated a town-hall-slash-brawl, and reminded a bleary-eyed planet that yes, it is indeed Tuesday. For…
Phillies Score: A Humble Tally That Could Tilt the Planet From a rooftop bar in Istanbul—where the Bosphorus glitters like a bribed official and the muezzin competes with Euro-trash pop—tonight’s Phillies score scrolls across the ticker: Philadelphia 7, Opponent 3. The barflies, mostly German tech consultants who think RBI is a new cryptocurrency, raise their…
Eagles Schedule: The 17-Week American Gladiator Calendar the Rest of the World Pretends Not to Watch By the time the NFL’s 2024 Philadelphia Eagles schedule dropped—on a Thursday night, because nothing says urgency like prime-time marketing—the planet was already busy. Tokyo’s Nikkei had closed up 0.4 % on semiconductor gossip, Berlin’s Bundestag was arguing about…
The Roman Empire had bread, circuses, and the occasional crucifixion; the modern United States has 17 weeks of NFL football, $18 nacho helmets, and the moral certainty that anyone who kneels during the anthem must hate freedom. From the outside looking in—say, from a rain-soaked Glasgow pub or a Seoul subway car packed with K-League…
Houston, We Have a Brand Problem: Astros vs Yankees as Global Morality Play by Dave’s Locker Foreign Correspondent (still jet-lagged from a nonstop via Reykjavik) When the Houston Astros and New York Yankees renew their blood feud this week, most of the planet will be busy keeping the lights on, the bombs off, or the…
The Tennessee Lottery: A Very American Miracle, Exported and Deconstructed By Our Man in Somewhere With Better Odds NASHVILLE—Somewhere between the neon crucifix of a Broadway honky-tonk and the beeping heartbreak of a gas-station scratcher, the Tennessee Lottery is quietly staging its own version of Manifest Destiny. From the outside, it looks like yet another…
Powerball en Vivo Hoy: The World Holds Its Breath for a Billion-Dollar Fever Dream By Dave’s Locker Correspondent, somewhere between a bar in Lisbon and a rooftop in Manila Tonight, at precisely 22:59 Eastern Standard Time, the multicolored balls of destiny will tumble inside a plastic drum in Tallahassee, Florida—population 200,000, humidity 400%. Somewhere between…
Rosie O’Donnell, the Human Rorschach Test No One Asked For By our correspondent in the cheap seats of the global amphitheater PARIS—Somewhere between the Seine and the Hudson, the name “Rosie O’Donnell” has become a kind of international litmus paper, turning one color for Americans who still think Twitter is a town square, another for…
Miley Cyrus: The Last American Export Still Clearing Customs By the time you read this, Miley Cyrus has already twerked, tongue-lolled, and power-balladed her way through another cultural checkpoint. Somewhere between Berlin’s Berghain and Bangkok’s rooftop infinity pools, the former Disney Channel tax write-off has become the global West’s most reliable soft-power delivery system—one glitter…
Omarion Hampton and the Great American Export of Hope By L. A. “Loop” Marquez, International Correspondent, Dave’s Locker ZURICH—In a city that still measures its self-worth by numbered bank accounts and discreetly acquired Picassos, the name Omarion Hampton is being whispered over $24 Spritzes like it’s the next cryptocurrency crash. To the Swiss, he’s an…
