Dallas, Texas— The forecast here is so cartoonishly extreme that it feels like the city is auditioning for a spot in the United Nations Climate Hall of Infamy. One day the mercury tickles 110°F (43°C), the next a derecho rewinds the thermostat to 68°F and flips every patio umbrella into low-orbit lawn art. From a…
Spring Valley Fire: A Local Blaze with Global Arsonists By “Scorched” Santiago Vega, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker The first wisps of smoke rose above Spring Valley, Nevada, last Tuesday at 14:37 local time—just late enough in the day for European traders to notice the haze on their Bloomberg terminals and wonder if their algorithmic portfolios…
Egypt: Still the World’s Favorite Cautionary Tale with Pyramids ————————————————————- Cairo—If history were a sitcom, Egypt would be the character who peaked in the pilot episode and now spends every season reminding the rest of the cast, “I used to run prime time.” Five millennia after inventing civilization, the country still tops bucket lists and…
Afghanistan vs UAE: Two Nations, One Desert, Infinite Irony By Our Cynical Correspondent in the Sand-Swept Cheap Seats Here we are again, watching two patches of sun-baked real estate pretend they’re playing the same sport. On one side, Afghanistan—freshly rebranded by its new management as “Talibanistan, Now With 30 % Less Music.” On the other,…
MILAN—While half the planet queues for half-priced lentils and the other half frantically googles “how to survive on crypto,” Giorgio Armani is quietly staging a coup on the very concept of collapse. Forget bread lines—this week the maestro of minimalism unveiled a Spring/Summer 2025 menswear collection that looks suspiciously like what the last billionaire will…
Sun vs. Sky: A Global Cage Match Sponsored by Existential Dread Dave’s Locker, International Desk – 12 June 2024 Somewhere above the Malacca Strait, a container ship the length of a small principality steams east while its captain squints at the sun like a man trying to read the fine print on a doomsday contract….
Birmingham, England—where the weather has always been a reliable punchline—recently delivered a masterclass in meteorological passive-aggression. A bruised-purple sky dumped golf-ball hail on the Bullring, flash-flooded the A38, and then sauntered off like a drunk who’s just keyed your car. Locals responded with the traditional stiff-upper-lip shrug: “Could be worse; could be Leeds.” Yet, from…
Hurricane Hawaii: A Global Tempest in a Teacup, Served with Pineapple By Dave’s Locker International Desk HONOLULU—While the rest of the planet busies itself with wars, elections, and whatever Elon Musk tweeted at 3 a.m., the Central Pacific has coughed up Hurricane Hone, a Category-4 bruiser currently doing an interpretive dance around the Hawaiian archipelago….
Dust Storm Warning: A Global Brown-Out By the time the meteorologists in Beijing, Baghdad, and Bakersfield finish their morning Zoom, the sky has already turned the color of an overcooked latte. A dust-storm warning is now less a regional inconvenience and more an international group chat nobody asked to join. From the Sahel to suburban…
South America: A Continent That Forgot to Read the Global Memo Dave’s Locker International Desk – Friday, 07:14 UTC RIO DE JANEIRO—While the rest of the planet was busy optimizing supply chains, South America appears to have been stuck in the longest cigarette break in recorded history. Somewhere between the Andes and the Atlantic, an…
Tropical Storm Lorena: A Gentle Reminder That the Planet Still Hates Us By Our Correspondent in the Tempestuous Tropics They named her Lorena, presumably after someone’s abuela who brewed lethal coffee and never forgot a grudge. This week, the storm politely introduced herself to the Mexican Riviera, slapped Acapulco with 65-mph winds, and then drifted…
Honduras: The Little Republic That Couldn’t Catch a Break By Dave’s Locker International Desk (with a stiff cup of contraband coffee) If global geopolitics were a dinner party, Honduras would be the guest who arrives early, helps set the table, and still gets seated next to the drunk uncle who keeps spilling merlot on the…
