Jonas Brothers World Tour: The Last Helicopter Out of Saigon, But Make It Pop If you squint past the confetti cannons, the Jonas Brothers’ 2024-25 world tour looks less like a nostalgia cash-grab and more like a state-sponsored evacuation—only this time the choppers are branded by Pepsi and the evacuees are millennials clutching overpriced VIP…
When the University of Tennessee at Martin and the University of Texas at El Paso tip off in a basketball game that precisely zero European insomniacs will stay awake for, the world does not exactly hold its breath. Yet, if you squint past the flickering neon of a 10 p.m. EST tip-off and the existential…
The North Carolina A&T Aggies versus the UCF Knights is, on paper, a football game so geographically modest that a European could sneeze and miss it. Yet this September collision in Orlando—part of UCF’s annual “Let’s Try to Look P5 While Still in the AAC” showcase—offers a perfect micro-dose of the global malaise we all…
In Houston, under a roof that cost more than the GDP of several Pacific island nations, the Astros played baseball last night. That sentence already contains enough contradictions—indoor baseball, billion-dollar air-conditioning, a sport once exported as a metaphor for American innocence now wrapped in retractable steel—to make any foreign correspondent reach for the antacid and…
In a world where grain freighters reroute around the Red Sea to avoid drone hobbyists and the Arctic Council meets via Zoom because the polar ice has melted too much for a physical quorum, the Denver Broncos’ freshly released 2024 schedule lands on my desk like a glossy brochure from a saner planet. It promises…
Aurora Borealis Forecast: When the Sky Starts Trolling the Northern Hemisphere By Dave’s Locker Global Affairs Desk If you’ve spent the last decade doom-scrolling through melting ice caps, collapsing supply chains, and whatever fresh horror has popped up on your phone this morning, the universe has decided to throw us a cosmic lollipop: an unusually…
BMW’s iX3 Neue Klasse: A Bavarian Electromobile in a World Still on Fire By Dave’s Locker International Desk Munich, Shanghai, Timbuktu—wherever you are, the planet is overheating and your neighbor just bought another SUV. Into this planetary sitcom BMW has lobbed its latest punchline: the iX3 Neue Klasse, a battery-powered crossover whose very name is…
If you want to feel the pulse of a city while simultaneously having your own pulse checked by a stranger’s elbow, there is no finer cardiogram than the London Underground. From Bank to Barking, the Tube is not merely a transport system; it is a rolling petri dish where the world’s grand themes—capitalism, climate anxiety,…
BMW iX3: The Bavarian Oligarch’s Electric Guilt Sponge By the International Desk, Dave’s Locker GENEVA—If you squint hard enough, the new BMW iX3 looks less like a car and more like a rolling LinkedIn post: polished, slightly smug, and desperate to prove it has read the Paris Agreement. Unveiled simultaneously in Munich, Beijing, and a…
Today’s Weather: A Global Forecast of Mild Panic, Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Existential Dread By Dave’s Locker International Bureau (a.k.a. one slightly jet-lagged correspondent with a dying phone battery) Good morning, afternoon, or whatever temporal fiction you’re clinging to in your corner of the planet. While you debate whether that suspicious cloud is…
Flushing Meadows, Queens — The 2025 US Open begins next week under a sky the color of a bruised credit card, and the planet’s more polite time zones are already bracing for impact. From Tokyo trading desks that will flicker with live betting algorithms to the European Parliament’s cafeteria where aides will pretend to watch…
John Sununu: The Man Who Made Bureaucracy a Contact Sport By Dave’s Locker International Affairs Desk On the surface, John H. Sununu looks like the sort of technocrat who could be quietly misplaced behind a potted palm at any OECD reception. A former governor of New Hampshire, White House Chief of Staff to George H….
