Global Economy Stumbles as Wayne Matthews’ Hamstring Becomes Geopolitical Flashpoint
World Holds Breath as Wayne Matthews Tweaks Hamstring, Diplomatic Calendars Rearranged By Our Correspondent in a Café Where the Wi-Fi is Suspiciously Russian Geneva—In the grand amphitheater of global catastrophe, where nuclear codes are passed around like party favors and glaciers file for divorce daily, humanity finally located its true pressure point: Wayne Matthews’ left…
