UnitedHealth Group’s ticker, UNH, has become the planet’s barometer for how much we’re collectively willing to pay not to die. From Singapore to São Paulo, analysts watch the same squiggly line crawl across their Bloomberg terminals, interpreting each uptick as proof that sickness remains the world’s most reliable growth industry. The stock hit another all-time…
GOOGLE STOCK: THE WORLD’S FAVORITE DIGITAL LOTTERY TICKET An international dispatch from the frontlines of capitalism, where a search bar has become sovereign. Global markets woke up this week to discover that Alphabet—parent to Google, the search engine that taught us to ask questions we never wanted our mothers to hear—had added another 4% to…
The FTSE 100: Britain’s Glittering Relic in a World That Moved On By Our Correspondent in London, Where the Rain Never Stops and the Past Never Dies Stand at Canary Wharf on a Tuesday morning and you can almost hear the clink of champagne flutes echoing from 1987—back when shoulder pads were wide, hair was…
**Thunderball Lotto Results: The Global Echo of a Modest British Boom** LONDON—While the world’s gaze is fixed on missile trajectories, crypto collapses, and the slow-motion demolition of various rainforests, Britain’s National Lottery quietly coughed up Tuesday’s Thunderball numbers: 06, 09, 14, 23, 39, and the Thunderball itself, 03. A £500,000 jackpot—pocket change next to America’s…
The S&P 500: America’s Favorite Slot Machine, Now With Global Side-Bets By Matteo “Machiavelli” Mwangi, Dave’s Locker International Correspondent ZURICH—On a rainy Tuesday, while the rest of us mortals queued for overpriced coffee, the S&P 500 quietly added another 0.7 %, reminding the planet that 500 U.S. companies remain the unofficial referee of world self-esteem….
Tokyo wakes up at 7 p.m. New York time, just in time to watch the S&P 500 futures twitch like a lab rat on its third espresso. In London, fund managers are already three cups in, praying the overnight move doesn’t blow up their bonus before breakfast. Meanwhile in São Paulo, a currency trader checks…
