Economic Calendar: The World’s Most Expensive Day-Planner By Our Correspondent Still Recovering from Last Week’s Flash Crash If aliens ever bothered to scan Earth’s financial chatter, they’d assume our species worships a holy spreadsheet known as the economic calendar. Every line item—NFP Friday in Washington, CPI Wednesday in Brussels, PMI dawn prayers in Tokyo—is penciled…
Scotland Game: How a Nation Invented Modern Football, Then Decided Losing Was More Authentic By Cormac O’Shaughnessy, International Affairs Correspondent If you listen closely to the hum of global football chatter this week, you’ll hear a low, bagpipe-adjacent drone: Scotland is, once again, playing a game. Not just any game, mind you, but the Scotland…
The World This Week: A Global Round-Up of Managed Catastrophes By L. M. Valdez, Senior Correspondent, Somewhere Over the Atlantic It’s late spring in the northern hemisphere, which means conference season, summit season, and—if you squint—apology season. From Washington to Davos-by-Zoom, the planet’s most powerful have spent the past seven days issuing statements that read…
Every September, while the planet politely burns and supply chains snap like cheap rosary beads, a quaint ritual unfurls across the Northern Hemisphere: Heritage Open Days. In England the National Trust swings open the gates of stately homes that smell of damp spaniel and inherited guilt; in France the Journées du Patrimoine invites citizens to…
College Board: The Great American Sorting Hat Goes Global By Our Man in the Departures Lounge, Somewhere Over the Atlantic If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Kafka and Milton Friedman co-designed a dating app for 17-year-olds, look no further than the College Board: a 123-year-old non-profit whose primary export is anxiety, laminated in…
Nick Kyrgios: The Antipodean Trickster Who Became the Planet’s Favorite Villain in a Sport That Loves Its Villains By the time the first champagne cork popped in Monte Carlo’s tax-optimized penthouses, word had already reached the Gaza strip, the Lagos hip-hop club, and a Dalian dormitory that Nick Kyrgios was at it again. Somewhere between…
Somewhere in a nameless bar in Manila, a Korean hedge-fund analyst, a Nigerian logistics broker, and a retired FARC accountant are watching the same pixelated stream of the New York Yankees’ box score. None of them have ever set foot in the Bronx—they couldn’t pick Aaron Judge out of a police lineup—but the flickering digits…
Hurricane Kiko, a Category-4 tantrum that spun through the mid-Pacific last week, officially made landfall somewhere between “Instagrammable disaster” and “global press junket.” The storm clipped the Hawaiian archipelago with the enthusiasm of a drunk tourist looking for poke, then drifted off to international waters like a bored influencer who’s already filmed the “before” segment….
Florida Lottery Results: A Sun-Bleached Beacon of Hope in the Global Panic Room Bylines from Tallahassee to Timbuktu TALLAHASSEE—While bond markets convulse in Frankfurt and Shanghai’s property giants play Jenga with concrete promises, the Florida Lottery on Wednesday night announced that a single ticket—purchased somewhere between a Daytona vape shop and a retirement village—has snagged…
Emergency Alert Test: The Planet’s Loudest Group Therapy Session The shrill, unmistakable screech that rattled phones from Reykjavík to Riyadh this week was not your cousin’s crypto scam, nor a push notification from a meditation app you forgot you paid for. It was the global Emergency Alert Test, an international mass-bleep designed to remind eight…
Daily Horoscope for September 4, 2025 – A Global Forecast in Which Absolutely No One Gets Out Alive By Our Cynical Correspondent, currently orbiting the chaos from a press seat in Reykjavík REYKJAVÍK—Somewhere between the 14th volcanic belch of the year and the IMF’s 37th emergency Zoom, humanity reached for its horoscopes this morning like…
The Lego Death Star: A 4,016-Piece Monument to Our Global Death Drive By Dave’s Foreign Correspondent, somewhere between aisle 7 and existential dread GENEVA—While diplomats inside the Palais des Nations bicker over wording in Article 3(b) of yet another non-binding resolution, the real arms race is happening in toy stores from Berlin to Bangkok. Lego’s…
