**The Global Hamstring: How Justin Jefferson’s Pulled Muscle Quietly Terrified Four Continents** *By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Dave’s Locker International* MINNEAPOLIS—Somewhere between the 38-second mark of the second quarter and the next round of artisanal nachos, Justin Jefferson’s hamstring sent a ripple across the planet that registered roughly 3.7 on the Richter Scale…
Athletics vs Cardinals: When Cosmic Irony Dresses in Spandex and Feathers By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Somewhere Over the Pacific If you tuned in expecting a quaint American baseball rivalry, congratulations—you’ve just been punked by the universe. The phrase “Athletics vs Cardinals” is no longer the exclusive property of two teams that trade…
CenterPoint Energy: Houston, We Have a Grid Problem (and It’s Contagious) By the time the lights flickered out in Texas last February, the rest of the planet had already stopped pretending to be surprised. After all, we’ve spent the last decade watching power grids from South Africa to Siberia audition for the same tragicomedy: one…
Dodgers vs. Pirates: A Tragicomic Opera Staged on the High Seas of Global Capital By Our Correspondent Somewhere Between a Tax Haven and a Rum-Soaked Dock The eternal pas de deux between dodgers and pirates has always been less a binary clash of good and evil than a recurring dinner party where the appetizers are…
Lush Stores Gaza: When Bubble Bars Meet Border Barriers By Dave’s Far-Flung Correspondent, filing from somewhere with better Wi-Fi than Gaza The first thing you notice is the incongruity: a Lush store—yes, the British purveyor of bath bombs that smell like a fruit salad having an existential crisis—reportedly wants to open in Gaza City. Not…
Blue Jays vs Reds: A Global Tragedy Painted in Feathers and Box Scores By Dave’s Foreign Correspondent, still wearing yesterday’s cynicism GENEVA — While the world’s finance ministers argue over digital-tax commas in Swiss conference suites, and while a forgotten war reruns its greatest hits on another continent, two North American bird-themed baseball clubs have…
Musetti: A Global Love Affair With a Twelve-Cent Doughnut Hole By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk PARIS—Somewhere between the Seine and the last functioning traffic light in Naples, the planet has quietly agreed that the pinnacle of human ingenuity is a sugar-dusted sphere of fried dough the size of a golf ball. Italians call it musetti;…
Twitter Down: Planet Earth Holds Breath, Discovers Oxygen Still Works By Our Man in the Ether When the blue bird finally keeled over at 03:47 UTC, the silence was so complete you could almost hear the world’s influencers hyperventilating into ring lights. From Lagos to Lisbon, Seoul to São Paulo, the sudden absence of 280-character…
How Much Is a Powerball Ticket? The $2 Passport to Pan-Global Delusion By Our Man in the Departure Lounge The short, almost insultingly straightforward answer is: two dollars, give or take a state-tax rounding error. That’s it—less than a flat white in Melbourne, cheaper than a single ride on the London Tube, and markedly less…
Where to Buy Powerball Tickets: A Globe-Trotting Guide to the World’s Most Expensive Daydream By Dave’s Foreign Correspondent, Still Jet-Lagged and Morally Ambiguous NEW YORK – If you’ve glanced at the headlines lately, you’ll know the Powerball jackpot has swollen to a sum that would make a small nation blush—roughly the GDP of Iceland, minus…
Countdown: Season 2 – When the World Holds Its Breath, Again By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk Geneva—If you listen very carefully above the hum of espresso machines in the Palais des Nations canteen, you can hear it: the low, collective murmur of diplomats rehearsing the phrase “red line” in sixteen languages. Countdown: Season 2 has…
Beyond the Gates: How the World’s VIP Rope Became a Geopolitical Fault Line By Our Correspondent, Somewhere Over the Pacific, Seat 47B For centuries, “beyond the gates” meant pasture land, graveyards, or the occasional dragon. Today it’s where the planet’s real decisions are made: the velvet-roped lounges of Davos, the blast-proof checkpoints of COP summits,…
