Coronation Street Spoilers: A Microcosm of Geopolitical Meltdown, but with Better Biscuits By Dave’s International Affairs Desk (and the intern who still thinks Weatherfield is a UN observer state) GENEVA — While the Security Council spent the week arguing over whose turn it is to veto human rights, a far more consequential power struggle unfolded…
Bermuda: The Atlantic’s Hand-Painted Mirage of Money, Moss, and Mild Existential Panic By Dave’s Locker International Desk Somewhere between the jet-stream and the 401(k) statements of hedge-fund divorcees floats Bermuda, a 21-square-mile pastel hallucination that insists—politely, in a crisp accent—on being taken seriously. To global capital, it’s a PO Box with a navy blazer; to…
Israel vs. Italy: When a Soccer Qualifier Becomes a Geopolitical Mood Ring Dave’s Locker, Tel Aviv–Rome Express, 5 June 2024 In the grand carnival of global sport, most qualifiers are polite affairs—ninety minutes of hair gel and mild cardiac stress, after which everyone flies home to argue on podcasts. Not this one. Thursday night’s Euro…
Paris, Thursday — The French government has fallen faster than a soufflé in a wind tunnel, and the rest of the world, nursing its own political hangover, is watching with the kind of sympathetic grimace usually reserved for a friend who just face-planted on the dance floor. Prime Minister Élisabeth Borne handed in her resignation…
The Curious Global Career of Kendrick Bourne, or How a Slot Receiver Became a Metaphor for 21st-Century Mobility In a world where supply chains snap like cheap earbuds and passports mutate into status symbols, the professional wanderings of Kendrick Lamar Bourne—yes, that really is his government name—offer a darkly comic masterclass in modern transience. While…
Jennifer Lawrence: The Last Movie Star in a Planet That Forgot How to Watch Somewhere between the collapse of the polar vortex and the collapse of Twitter, Jennifer Lawrence—Kentucky-born, Oscar-anointed, and still only 33—has become the closest thing the fractured globe has to a unifying folk tale. From Lagos bootleg-DVD stalls to Seoul’s ultra-clean multiplexes,…
Guinea vs Algeria: When Two Nations Duke It Out and the Rest of the World Pretends It’s Just Football By Our Man in the Departure Lounge, Conakry-Dar es Salaam Route Conakry, Thursday night. The lights flicker like a bad omen at Stade du 28 Septembre, which is fitting because every time Guinea and Algeria meet,…
When the Dow Jones Industrial Average sneezes, the world doesn’t just catch a cold—it starts Googling funeral arrangements and debating which national anthem to play at the wake. Across time zones, from the glass sarcophagi of London’s Canary Wharf to the neon temples of Shanghai’s Lujiazui, traders watch those thirty American blue-chips like anxious relatives…
Scotland vs Belarus: Two Cold Places, One Lukewarm Game, and the Entire Planet Pretending to Care By Our Man in the Departure Lounge, somewhere between Glasgow and Minsk Let us begin with the obvious: there are only so many ways two mid-table nations can disappoint their citizens on a Tuesday night, yet Scotland and Belarus…
FNMA Stock: A Global Ghost Story in Government Pajamas by Diego Márquez, Senior Correspondent, Somewhere Between Frankfurt and a Frequent-Flyer Lounge It’s 3 a.m. in Singapore. A Norwegian pension fund manager is refreshing her terminal, half-expecting the coffee to taste like solvent and half-hoping that FNMA—Fannie Mae to its drinking buddies—has finally decided whether it…
The Great Global Pension Pick-Pocket By Our Man in Geneva, Nursing a Negroni and a Grudge GENEVA — Somewhere between the 12th refill of the UN cafeteria coffee urn and the 17th PowerPoint slide titled “Inter-generational Solidarity,” finance ministers from 40-odd countries reached a quiet consensus this week: retirement accounts are the new cookie jar,…
The continent that once carved the planet into colonies with the enthusiasm of a chef slicing truffles now finds itself an elegant, slightly anxious dinner guest at the global feast it once catered. Europe, that antique mosaic of kingdoms, republics, and tax shelters, is busy rehearsing humility while the rest of the world scrolls past…
