AirPods Pro 3: The World’s Newest Passport to Oblivion By Miles Blackstone, International Affairs Desk, Dave’s Locker GENEVA—In the shadow of the Jet d’Eau, where diplomats still argue about carbon ceilings they’ll never meet, Apple quietly slipped another sliver of white plastic into humanity’s collective ear canal. The AirPods Pro 3, unveiled yesterday in a…
Arsenal News: A Global Arms Bazaar Where Everyone Wins (Except the Targets) By the time you finish this sentence, at least three governments, two private security firms, and one very enthusiastic TikTok influencer will have refreshed their feeds for the latest “Arsenal News.” The phrase used to summon images of North London footballers fumbling away…
Moise Kean and the Global Transfer Carousel: How a Striker’s Career Became a Metaphor for Everything Wrong (and Right) with International Football By the time Moise Kean turned 24, the Italian striker had collected more passport stamps than most foreign correspondents. Born near Turin to Ivorian parents, fast-tracked by Juventus, dispatched to Everton, loaned to…
From the favelas of Rio to the glass-box penthouses of Dubai, the planet’s collective pulse quickens at the same hour. Somewhere a striker in Lagos is checking his WhatsApp for the same team sheet that a hedge-fund analyst in Singapore just screenshotted to his “lads” chat. Today’s football fixtures are less a schedule than a…
NFL Plus: The Empire Streams Back By Dave’s Locker Global Correspondent PARIS—Imagine, if you will, a planet where 330 million Americans huddle around glowing rectangles every Sunday, convinced that the fate of a leather spheroid is the axis on which civilization spins. Now picture the National Football League—an outfit so patriotic it could make a…
Carolina Panthers: America’s Adorable Existential Crisis on Cleats By “Jet-Lagged” Julio Navarro, Senior Correspondent for Dave’s Locker The Carolina Panthers, for the uninitiated, are an American football franchise named after a predator that hasn’t prowled the Carolinas since the 19th century—an irony not lost on a planet that now watches apex predators mostly on streaming…
Paris, 8 March – If the planet’s attention span weren’t already shredded into TikTok confetti, you might have noticed that two very large men are about to punch each other into another tax bracket. Saturday night at the Accor Arena, Tom Aspinall and Ciryl Gane will contest the UFC’s “interim” heavyweight title—a belt so interim…
Another Thursday, Another Gun: Fremont Joins the Global Chorus of Trigger-Happy Tuesdays By Matteo “Bullets & Bylines” Ricci, Foreign Correspondent-at-Large FREMONT, California—It happened at 4:17 p.m. local time, which was 0:17 a.m. in Kyiv, 6:17 a.m. in Singapore, and precisely cocktail hour on the International Space Station where, presumably, astronauts were too busy admiring the…
The Bryant Bulldogs, pride of Smithfield, Rhode Island—population 22,000, roughly the same number of people currently trying to flee Khartoum by bus—kicked off their 2024 season last weekend. On the surface, this is a quaint FCS tale: a private university founded in 1863, same year the U.S. was busy inventing modern bureaucracy, now fielding 63…
The Long Walk: A Global Death March in Sneakers By Our Man in Everywhere (Currently Somewhere Between Bangkok and Bogotá) If you’ve ever sat in a budget airline seat so narrow it qualifies as torture under the Geneva Conventions, you already grasp the basic premise of “The Long Walk.” Stephen King’s 1979 novel—written under the…
Deestroying: The Global Art of Making Nothing From Everything Paris, 03:42 a.m. local time – Somewhere between the Seine and the 24-hour pâtisserie that will eventually outlive us all, a city worker in a hi-viz vest is feeding another perfectly functional park bench into an orange shredder. The bench was installed last spring. It will…
Super Bowl LX: A Halftime Show the World Couldn’t Mute *Dispatch from the Global Nosebleed Section* If you missed the 2026 halftime spectacle, congratulations—you were probably busy dodging drone strikes, paying rent in a currency that evaporates faster than ethics on a campaign trail, or simply living somewhere the NFL’s broadcast rights haven’t yet colonized….
