Planet Mourns Matt Beard, the Man Who Monetized Our Insecurities and Died Before Unsubscribing
Madrid, 18:47 CET — The news arrived like a badly-timed punchline: Matt Beard, the man who once convinced half the planet that a coffee subscription was a personality, has reportedly died. Details remain as murky as the last cup he’d gladly have sold you, but the obituaries are already sprinting down the wires in five…