Crash Course in Global Capitalism: The Car Accident Lawyer as Diplomat, Debt-Collector, and Existential Witness Dispatch from the intersection of rubber, asphalt, and human folly – everywhere and nowhere at once. By the time you finish this sentence, roughly nine fender-benders will have blossomed across the planet like ugly metal flowers. In São Paulo, a…
Nintendo: The Last Empire Built on Joy (and 8-Bit Stockholm Syndrome) By Dave’s Locker International Desk Kyoto, Japan – While the rest of the planet rehearses its own fiery reboot via climate summits, trade wars, and algorithmic coups, a 135-year-old playing-card company quietly sells $15 billion worth of escapism every year. Nintendo, that stubbornly cheerful…
Horror Nights, Global Franchise of Dread, Celebrate Humanity’s Unpaid Therapy Bill by Matteo “Graveyard” Moreau, International Correspondent, somewhere between the Day of the Dead in Oaxaca and a fog-shrouded U.K. theme park If you’ve ever wondered what a billion-dollar coping mechanism looks like, buy a ticket to any Horror Night on the planet this season….
The Tennessee Lottery: A Very American Miracle, Exported and Deconstructed By Our Man in Somewhere With Better Odds NASHVILLE—Somewhere between the neon crucifix of a Broadway honky-tonk and the beeping heartbreak of a gas-station scratcher, the Tennessee Lottery is quietly staging its own version of Manifest Destiny. From the outside, it looks like yet another…
The World’s Most Democratic Tax on Hope By Our Correspondent, Somewhere Between the 7-Eleven and the Edge of Reason It was 8:03 p.m. in Madrid when Carlos, a civil servant who hasn’t seen a raise since fax machines were chic, forked over his last two euros for “El Gordo” Christmas tickets. Twelve time zones away,…
The Powerball Drawing: A Global Lottery Where Everyone Loses, Yet Still Buys Tickets By the time the white balls tumbled out of the acrylic drum in Tallahassee last night, Tokyo’s morning commuters were already checking the results on their phones between sardine-can train stops and Lagos’s night-shift nurses were placing proxy bets on WhatsApp before…
South America: A Continent That Forgot to Read the Global Memo Dave’s Locker International Desk – Friday, 07:14 UTC RIO DE JANEIRO—While the rest of the planet was busy optimizing supply chains, South America appears to have been stuck in the longest cigarette break in recorded history. Somewhere between the Andes and the Atlantic, an…
**The Global Hamstring: How Justin Jefferson’s Pulled Muscle Quietly Terrified Four Continents** *By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Dave’s Locker International* MINNEAPOLIS—Somewhere between the 38-second mark of the second quarter and the next round of artisanal nachos, Justin Jefferson’s hamstring sent a ripple across the planet that registered roughly 3.7 on the Richter Scale…
Argentina: The World’s Most Consistently Unpredictable Soap Opera By: A Correspondent Who Learned Long Ago Never to Bet Against a Country That’s Already Bankrupt Twice Before Lunch Buenos Aires cafés still smell of burnt sugar and desperation, which is convenient because the IMF is currently asking for both back—preferably in dollars. While the rest of…
How Much Is a Powerball Ticket? The $2 Passport to Pan-Global Delusion By Our Man in the Departure Lounge The short, almost insultingly straightforward answer is: two dollars, give or take a state-tax rounding error. That’s it—less than a flat white in Melbourne, cheaper than a single ride on the London Tube, and markedly less…
Where to Buy Powerball Tickets: A Globe-Trotting Guide to the World’s Most Expensive Daydream By Dave’s Foreign Correspondent, Still Jet-Lagged and Morally Ambiguous NEW YORK – If you’ve glanced at the headlines lately, you’ll know the Powerball jackpot has swollen to a sum that would make a small nation blush—roughly the GDP of Iceland, minus…
Tropical Storm Lorena: A Gentle Reminder That the Planet Still Hates Us By Our Correspondent in the Tempestuous Tropics They named her Lorena, presumably after someone’s abuela who brewed lethal coffee and never forgot a grudge. This week, the storm politely introduced herself to the Mexican Riviera, slapped Acapulco with 65-mph winds, and then drifted…
