Somewhere between the Gaza cease-fire talks and the latest AI-generated copyright debacle, a new patch note slid onto Team Cherry’s Discord with the stealth of a Mossad operative. It read, in its entirety: “Silksong build 1.0.0.9 – minor stability tweaks, hornet animation polish, localization fixes.” The planet, collectively, lost what remains of its composure. From…
Borderlands 4: An Atlas of Global Dysfunction, Now With 300% More Explosions By A. Correspondent, filing from an undisclosed server farm that smells faintly of gunpowder and unpaid overtime Somewhere between a Mongolian copper mine that doubles as a TikTok backdrop and a Frankfurt boardroom where executives argue over loot-box legislation, the planet paused yesterday…
AppLovin: The Algorithmic Pied Piper of Planet Earth By Dave’s Locker Global Affairs Desk Somewhere between the fall of the Berlin Wall and the rise of TikTok dances, humanity quietly agreed to surrender its attention spans to a handful of Californian engineers with a gift for turning micro-transactions into macro-misery. Enter AppLovin, the San Francisco–based…
Nintendo eShop to Close: A Funeral March for the World’s Smallest, Most Expensive Nation-State By Dave’s International Desk (Tokyo → Rio → Lagos → Your Couch) TOKYO—On a humid Thursday, Nintendo politely informed the planet that, come March 2025, the eShop for 3DS and Wii U will flat-line. The announcement landed in fourteen languages, which…
Borderlands 4 and the Great Global Countdown: How a Loot-Shooter Became a Geopolitical Barometer By the time you finish reading this paragraph, at least three more Reddit threads will have declared, with unshakable certainty, that Borderlands 4 will launch on 14 September 2025. By dinner, that date will be debunked, re-credited to a “leaked Nvidia…
Rockstar Whispers, Planet Stops: The Global Freak-Out Over a Video-Game Launch Date By “Jet-Lagged” Javier Morales, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk Somewhere between a drought-stricken olive grove in Andalusia and a flooded subway entrance in Jakarta, the earth’s collective attention span pivoted last week to one burning question: “When does GTA 6 actually drop?”…
Marvel Rivals: When Super-Powers Collide in the Shadow of Real-World Chaos By Our Man in the Multiverse In the grand tradition of pitting gods against each other for our mild amusement, Marvel Entertainment has once again invited the planet to watch its costumed demigods punch each other through digital skyscrapers. Marvel Rivals—the freshly announced 6-v-6…
