Oracle Stock: When the Cloud Touches Every Passport on Earth By Dave’s Locker’s resident globe-trotter, still nursing jet-lag from three time-zones and one existential crisis Redwood Shores, California—home of Oracle Corporation—sits 11,000 kilometers from the nearest Russian troll farm, 9,000 from the closest Nigerian fintech hub, and exactly one Zoom call away from every finance…
The Andes vs. the Chaco: Why a Tuesday Night Qualifier in Asunción Matters More Than Your Mortgage Rate By Our Man in Lima, Still Waiting for the Bus In any other week, the planet’s attention would be fixed on the usual circus: a G-7 finance minister explaining how “transitory” now means “permanent,” or a tech…
2026 Lexus IS350: The Global Sedan for People Who Still Pretend to Save the Planet By Our Correspondent, Somewhere Between Frankfurt and the End of Days GENEVA — The 2026 Lexus IS350 rolled onto the international stage this week like a well-tailored apology letter from Toyota: sleek, polite, and vaguely penitent for the last thirty…
Ferrari 849 Testarossa: A Global Love Affair with Speed, Sin, and Selective Amnesia By Dave’s Locker International Desk Maranello, Italy – The world’s billionaires have a new collective crush, and its name is the Ferrari 849 Testarossa. While the rest of us queue for eggs that cost more than last year’s rent, the planet’s .001…
Apple’s share price—those three crisp capital letters that look so tidy on a Bloomberg terminal—has become the planet’s most polite form of geopolitical warfare. From the glass canyons of Shenzhen to the granite lobbies of Frankfurt, the daily flicker of AAPL is now less a measure of gadgets sold than a referendum on who still…
Apple Stock: The World’s Most Expensive Fruit Salad Keeps Getting Pricier By Matteo “Still Uses a 2012 iPod Classic” Rossi PARIS—Somewhere between the croissants and the existential dread, a new planetary constant has emerged: Apple’s share price. From Seoul’s neon canyons to São Paulo’s favelas, the Cupertino ticker has become the Esperanto of modern capitalism—a…
Dow Jones: The World’s Most Expensive Mood Ring By Dave’s Locker’s Chief Correspondent, somewhere between an airport lounge and existential dread The Dow Jones Industrial Average opened Tuesday like a hung-over aristocrat—wobbly, entitled, but still convinced the planet should curtsy. Thirty-odd American companies, stitched together into a single numerical shrug, managed to send tremors from…
UnitedHealth Group’s ticker, UNH, has become the planet’s barometer for how much we’re collectively willing to pay not to die. From Singapore to São Paulo, analysts watch the same squiggly line crawl across their Bloomberg terminals, interpreting each uptick as proof that sickness remains the world’s most reliable growth industry. The stock hit another all-time…
Paddy Power: How a Bookmaker from the Emerald Isle Accidentally Became a Global Barometer of Late-Stage Capitalism By Our Correspondent in the Cheap Seats, Thursday DUBLIN—If the world were a casino, Paddy Power would be the loudest, most unapologetic croupier, forever shouting the odds on everything from the next pope to the precise shade of…
The Global Bazaar of Hope and Hubris by our correspondent in three time-zones and one existential crisis If you want to see humanity at its most optimistic and delusional in equal measure, skip the dating apps and go straight to the investment pages. From a glass tower in Singapore where a 29-year-old analyst just bet…
Paris, Thursday — The French government has fallen faster than a soufflé in a wind tunnel, and the rest of the world, nursing its own political hangover, is watching with the kind of sympathetic grimace usually reserved for a friend who just face-planted on the dance floor. Prime Minister Élisabeth Borne handed in her resignation…
StubHub’s IPO: Selling Tickets to a Show Called Late-Stage Capitalism by Dave’s Locker Global Correspondent When StubHub filed to go public last week, the planet’s collective reaction was less “Wow, live events are back!” and more “Ah yes, another marketplace for the same Beyoncé ticket, now with quarterly guidance.” From the bourses of New York…
