The Left Arm That Shook the Globe By Diego “Digger” Santangelo, International Correspondent Somewhere above the Mediterranean, on a chartered El Al flight in October 1965, Sandy Koufax told the captain he would not be pitching Game 1 of the World Series. The reason? Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar. Up in…
BREAKING: British Tennis Prodigy Retires to Pursue Full-Time Career in Being Photographed By Our Correspondent Somewhere Between SW19 and Abu Dhabi Laura Robson, the woman who once made Wimbledon Centre Court sound like a Beatles reunion, has officially hung up her racket at the age of 28—an age at which most players in Eastern Europe…
Travis Hunter, American Football’s Two-Way Glitch, Is Quietly Exporting Chaos to the Rest of the Planet By the time the rest of the world finished arguing about VAR, Travis Hunter had already played 100 snaps on offense, 100 on defense, and signed a few more NIL deals than most European second-division clubs manage in transfer…
Lewis Hamilton, the man who turned left better than anyone else on Earth for the past seventeen years, has announced his departure from Mercedes to join Ferrari in 2025—a move that has sent shockwaves through the Formula One universe and given every armchair pundit from Abu Dhabi to Albuquerque something to pretend they understand. The…
Paris, 8 March – If the planet’s attention span weren’t already shredded into TikTok confetti, you might have noticed that two very large men are about to punch each other into another tax bracket. Saturday night at the Accor Arena, Tom Aspinall and Ciryl Gane will contest the UFC’s “interim” heavyweight title—a belt so interim…
Angels Game: How a California Baseball Club Became the Global Poster Child for Bad Luck, Bad Law, and Very Bad PR By Dave’s Locker International Desk SANTA ANA, California—If you had “Angels” and “criminal negligence” in the same bingo card this year, congratulations: you’ve just won the geopolitical version of the Powerball. The Los Angeles…
Wimbledon 2025: A Green-and-Purple Refuge While the World Burns By our man in the press box with a Pimm’s and a grimace London, June 2025 – The All England Club has once again rolled out its immaculately striped lawn like a giant picnic blanket for the planet’s remaining optimists. Outside the gates, Britain’s fourth government…
ESPN+ and the Great Paywalling of the Globe By Our Man in the Cheap Seats Somewhere over the mid-Atlantic, a rugby-mad Namibian businessman tries to stream Namibia’s historic first-ever World Cup win on his phone. Instead, he’s greeted by a polite American voice reminding him that ESPN+ is “not available in your region.” He sighs,…
Kyiv, 3:00 a.m. local—while most of Europe was snoring beneath its weighted blanket of post-industrial angst, 60-odd Ukrainians in yellow and 11 world-weary Frenchmen in navy were busy reminding the planet that geopolitics can still be settled by twenty-two pairs of lungs and one very opinionated ball. The scoreboard said Ukraine 2–1 France (B), but…
Dubai’s floodlit coliseum is once again hosting the world’s most polite blood-sport: Pakistan versus UAE, a fixture that sounds like the geopolitical equivalent of a LinkedIn request—cordial on the surface, quietly lethal beneath. On paper it’s only a cricket match; in practice it’s a diplomatic spreadsheet wearing athletic gear. One side represents a nuclear-armed republic…
Terence Crawford and the Quiet Art of Global Violence By A. Serrano, Foreign Correspondent (currently hiding from creditors in a Moldovan airport bar) Omaha, Nebraska—birthplace of TV dinners, Warren Buffett, and now the planet’s most polite destroyer of men. Terence “Bud” Crawford has, in the grand tradition of American exports, taken something provincial (the Midwestern…
Flushing Meadows, Queens — The 2025 US Open begins next week under a sky the color of a bruised credit card, and the planet’s more polite time zones are already bracing for impact. From Tokyo trading desks that will flicker with live betting algorithms to the European Parliament’s cafeteria where aides will pretend to watch…
