Adrian Peterson and the Global Trade in Disposable Heroes By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Somewhere over the Mid-Atlantic PARIS—Because nothing says “universal human values” quite like a 38-year-old American running back still hawking his wares on the open market, Adrian Peterson has once again become an unlikely diplomatic incident. The NFL’s erstwhile MVP—whose…
Brock Bowers’ Knee Becomes an Unwilling Diplomat By the time the news had ping-ponged from Athens, Georgia, to Athens, Greece, the anterior cruciate ligament of one 20-year-old American football prodigy had already achieved what most career diplomats only fantasize about: uniting the planet in a single, synchronized wince. From a smoky sports bar in Buenos…
Trey Benson and the Curious Case of the Global Running Back Industrial Complex By Dave’s Locker International Desk In a world where grain shortages, crypto meltdowns, and billionaires cosplaying rocket men dominate the headlines, the meteoric ascent of one Trey Benson—Florida State sophomore running back, 6-1, 223 lbs, reportedly capable of outrunning guilt—somehow warrants a…
Omarion Hampton and the Great American Export of Hope By L. A. “Loop” Marquez, International Correspondent, Dave’s Locker ZURICH—In a city that still measures its self-worth by numbered bank accounts and discreetly acquired Picassos, the name Omarion Hampton is being whispered over $24 Spritzes like it’s the next cryptocurrency crash. To the Swiss, he’s an…
