Adam Thielen and the Global Apostrophe Crisis By our man in the cheap seats, somewhere over the Atlantic In the grand geopolitical sweep of 2024—where BRICS nations flirt with ditching the dollar, AI prophets promise either utopia or annihilation, and your toaster now demands a firmware update—Adam Thielen’s career arc should register as a footnote….
Mac Jones and the Export of American Quarterbacking: A Tragicomedy in Three Acts By Our Man in Exile, Somewhere Over Greenland Act I – The Transatlantic Pipeline When the New England Patriots drafted Mac Jones 15th overall in 2021, the moment did not, strictly speaking, make the front page of Le Monde or spark a…
Chip Kelly and the Global Gospel of Hurry-Up Capitalism By Dave’s Locker International Desk PARIS — Somewhere between the 15th arrondissement’s stubborn cigarette haze and the fluorescent glow of a Buffalo Wild Wings streaming Pac-12 After Dark, Chip Kelly keeps sprinting. Not literally—his knees filed an injunction years ago—but philosophically. While the rest of the…
When the New Orleans Saints released their 2024 schedule, the planet’s axis did not visibly tilt, yet from Jakarta to Johannesburg a certain breed of humans—those who can recite salary-cap minutiae but forget their wedding anniversary—paused to perform the annual ritual of cosmic prognostication. In the grand bazaar of geopolitics, the Saints’ slate is a…
UNC vs Charlotte: A Microscopic Proxy War in a World Already Burning By Our Correspondent in the All-Too-Cozy End Times Raleigh—If aliens ever bothered to tune in to earthling “sports,” they’d probably mistake last night’s North Carolina vs UNC-Charlotte tussle for a particularly well-choreographed food riot. Two bands of unpaid laborers—sorry, “student-athletes”—chasing an inflated sphere…
