Necaxa-Juárez and the Quiet Apocalypse of Provincial Football By Our Man in the Americas, nursing a mezcal and a migraine in row 17, Estadio Victoria The world’s attention has been, understandably, elsewhere: Gaza’s rubble livestream, Musk firing another 3,000 people over emoji, and the International Olympic Committee debating breakdancing’s spiritual purity. Yet on Saturday night,…
**THE BEAST INCARNATE GOES GLOBAL: How a Minnesota Farm Boy Became the World’s Most Marketable Monster** In an era where globalization has made the world simultaneously more connected and more absurd, Brock Lesnar stands as a testament to humanity’s enduring appetite for controlled violence and agricultural-themed showmanship. The man who once suplexed his way through…
From the Fens to the Front Pages: Why a Red Sox Score Echoes Louder Than Bombs By Our Man in the Cheap Seats, Somewhere Over the North Atlantic BOSTON—While the rest of the planet debated grain-export corridors, submarine pipelines, and which autocrat has the shiniest table, a modest digit flickered across scoreboards from Lansdowne Street…
Zach Cole, a name that surfaces in the digital muck with the same frequency as a pop-up ad for dubious crypto schemes, has quietly become a case study in how a single human can now ricochet across continents faster than most passports collect stamps. To the average reader in Lagos, Berlin, or Manila, Cole might…
The Cardinals versus Brewers rivalry is, of course, about the St. Louis Cardinals and the Milwaukee Brewers—two Midwestern baseball outfits whose annual skirmishes are dutifully filed by American networks under “regional passion play.” Yet step back half a planet and the same fixture looks less like pastoral Americana and more like geopolitical performance art. In…
Miami Vice: How a Pastel Fever Dream Became the Planet’s Operating Manual By Dave’s International Affairs Desk (currently wearing linen and pretending the air-con works) In 1984, while the rest of the planet was busy rehearsing nuclear winter, the United States exported a different apocalypse: two undercover cops who wore more shoulder pad than aircraft…
Friday Night Football: The World’s Most Expensive Ritual Sacrifice, Now in 4K It’s 7:07 p.m. somewhere on the North American continent—exactly the moment when the global balance of power tilts imperceptibly toward whichever high school can afford better LED pylons. While the rest of the planet either sleeps or schemes, a small town’s entire GDP…
The last time the world cared this much about tigers and marlins in the same breath, a Bond villain was monologuing. Yet here we are, watching the Detroit Tigers and Miami Marlins wage a proxy war over the soul of professional baseball, while the rest of the planet politely pretends to follow the score. From…
Astros vs Braves: A Global Power Outage Disguised as a Baseball Game By Diego Serrano, Dave’s Locker International Correspondent Houston, Texas – Somewhere between the first pitch and the last corporate-sponsored wave, the Astros and Braves reminded the planet that even in an age of intercontinental hypersonic missiles and algorithmic romance, two groups of overpaid…
Yankees vs. Red Sox: How a Provincial Grudge Match Accidentally Became the World’s Longest-Running Reality Show By Dave’s Locker International Desk Somewhere between the fall of the Berlin Wall and the rise of TikTok, two American baseball clubs—one dressed like conservative undertakers, the other like over-caffeinated Christmas elves—managed to convince the planet that their private…
Gary Player, the Black Knight of the fairways, has spent nine decades swinging clubs and scolding the rest of us for not doing enough sit-ups. Born in 1935 on a South African cattle farm so remote it probably didn’t get the memo about apartheid until the late nineties, Player has become the planet’s most peripatetic…
Indiana State vs Indiana: A Heartland Grudge Match as Viewed from the International Cheap Seats By Dave’s far-flung correspondent, nursing jet-lag in a Frankfurt airport lounge that smells of bratwurst and regret. To the rest of the planet, the spectacle unfolding in Terre Haute this weekend looks like two American institutions squabbling over a basketball…
