Global Goals, Local Jokes: How Erling Haaland Became Capitalism’s Favorite Viking
Erling Haaland is, by most measurable standards, a Viking who wandered south, discovered the offside line was optional, and decided to monetize the revelation. From the fjords of Bryne—population roughly equal to a mid-tier Beyoncé concert—to the Etihad’s air-conditioned vault, the Norwegian cyborg has become a walking quarterly report for the global football-industrial complex. His…