The Global Obsession with Xander Schauffele’s Wife: Humanity’s Priority Problem
**The Global Significance of Mrs. Xander Schauffele: How One Woman’s Handbag Choices Apparently Matter to Civilization** In a world where nuclear powers exchange threats over social media and climate change is busy remodeling our coastlines, humanity has collectively decided that the most pressing question requiring international investigation is: who exactly is married to professional golfer…
