Leonard Fournette Is Retired (Unless You Still Pay Him): A Dispatch on Globalized Muscle, Fleeting Glory, and the Endless Analogy of Football as Late-Stage Capitalism By Dave’s Locker International Bureau Dateline: Everywhere and Nowhere – The news pinged across time zones like a half-hearted missile drill: Leonard Fournette, age 29 going on Achilles-calcified 39, is…
BREAKING: British Tennis Prodigy Retires to Pursue Full-Time Career in Being Photographed By Our Correspondent Somewhere Between SW19 and Abu Dhabi Laura Robson, the woman who once made Wimbledon Centre Court sound like a Beatles reunion, has officially hung up her racket at the age of 28—an age at which most players in Eastern Europe…
The Global Pension: A Promise Written in Disappearing Ink By our Senior Correspondent, still waiting for his first payout in a bar on the Mekong In theory, a pension is the civilized world’s IOU for a lifetime of showing up on time and pretending to enjoy team-building exercises. In practice, it is humanity’s most ambitious…
Jason Kelce and the Global Theater of Linemen: How One Bearded American Gladiator Explains Everything There comes a moment—usually around 3 a.m. in a Berlin hostel kitchen—when a French backpacker, two Korean crypto-traders, and a Canadian on a gap year discover they share a single cultural reference point: the bearded, bare-chested, beer-sloshing demigod known as…
