Satire

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    savannah guthrie

    Savannah Guthrie: America’s Alarm Clock at the End of the World Dispatch from the Bureau of Smiling Through the Apocalypse By the time the sun claws its way over the Pacific, Savannah Guthrie has already interviewed two heads of state, moderated a town-hall-slash-brawl, and reminded a bleary-eyed planet that yes, it is indeed Tuesday. For…

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    achieve

    Achieve: A Global Tour of the Impossible Dream, Now 30 % Off By Our Correspondent, Somewhere between Terminal 3 and Existential Dread “Achieve,” the travel brochure promises, is a quaint village reachable by anyone with grit, Wi-Fi, and a premium LinkedIn subscription. In reality it’s more of a floating island—today moored off the coast of…

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    astros game today

    The Astros Game Today: A Tragicomedy in Nine Innings, Brought to You by Planetary Melodrama Houston, Texas—population 2.3 million, humidity 100%, probability of existential dread steadily rising. While the locals shuffle into Minute Maid Park to watch grown millionaires in pajamas swat cowhide spheres, the rest of the planet quietly wonders whether this is the…

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    sienna miller

    Sienna Miller and the End of the Empire’s Last Illusion By Dave’s International Desk London, Rome, Caracas—pick a capital, any capital—and you will find a glossy magazine cover asking, with breathless sincerity, what Sienna Miller wore to a film premiere you’ll never see. The question itself is a Rorschach test for the late-imperial moment: we…