Coronation Street: The Last British Empire Still Broadcasting By Our Special Correspondent in Weatherfield-on-the-Wider-World Manchester, England — While the pound sterling flirts with parity against the dollar and Brexit negotiators argue over fish sticks, Britain’s most durable export remains a cobblestoned cul-de-sac where the beer is warm, the accents warmer, and the mortality rate rivals…
Port Charles Has Fallen and It Can’t Get Up: A Dispatch on the Global Aftershocks of General Hospital Spoilers By C. V. Blackstone, International Affairs Correspondent Rumors out of upstate New York—specifically that picturesque hamlet where half the population has been shot, resurrected, or re-cast—now travel faster than a Swiss bank transfer. A single leaked…
Emmerdale’s Mackenzie Boyd: How One Yorkshireman’s Love Triangle Became the UN’s Soft-Power Crisis By A. L. Scoville, Senior Cynic-at-Large GENEVA—While the Security Council quarrelled over grain corridors and submarine cables, a more insidious diplomatic meltdown was unfolding in a snug Yorkshire pub. Emmerdale’s Mackenzie Boyd—part-time farmer, full-time human regret—has reportedly been “spiralling” after learning that…
Weatherfield’s New Crown Prince: Tyrone Dobbs and the Quiet Globalization of British Misery By Dave’s Locker Foreign Correspondent (currently self-isolating with a lukewarm Balti pie) Somewhere between a NATO summit and the latest IMF downgrade, Tyrone Dobbs—mechanic, single father, reluctant landlord of a two-up-two-down in Greater Manchester—was crowned unofficial sovereign of the British soap opera….
Yorkshire’s Dales, UNESCO’s newest candidate for “World Heritage Site of Passive-Aggressive Sheep,” has apparently decided to audition for a seat on the UN Security Council by threatening the life of one Aaron Dingle. The question ricocheting from Lagos living rooms to Tokyo bullet-train gossip circles is not whether the writers will pull the trigger, but…
