Cade Klubnik, quarterback savior of the Clemson Tigers, woke up last Saturday on a continent that still thinks a “tight end” is an unfortunate consequence of yoga class. Yet by nightfall, his 38-35 overtime escape against Notre Dame had ricocheted through encrypted group chats from Singapore to São Paulo, proving once again that American college…
Cole Palmer: The Quiet English Kid Quietly Reshaping Global Football’s Hierarchy By Dave’s Foreign Desk, somewhere between a damp Tuesday in Manchester and a sun-baked Champions League night LONDON — The world’s supply chains are sputtering, glaciers are auditioning for puddles, and democracy is locked in a never-ending group chat with itself, yet the planet’s…
The United States has always excelled at exporting two things: weapons-grade optimism and television. USA Network, the plucky cable channel that once promised “Characters Welcome,” is the softer, more insidious sibling of those F-35s—flying under most foreign radars while still reshaping the global skyline. From its birth in 1977 as the Madison Square Garden Sports…
Jasmine Harman and the Global Cottage-Core Arms Race By Our Correspondent in the Department of Soft-Furnishings Geopolitics You may know Jasmine Harman as the relentlessly upbeat presenter who once persuaded a retired couple from Southend to trade a three-bed semi for a crumbling finca in Alicante on A Place in the Sun. What you probably…
Madrid, Spain – The sun still rises over the Plaza Mayor, but only after it has checked the La Liga standings on its phone. At the top, Real Madrid sit with that monarchical inevitability which makes republicans quietly despair. Ancelotti’s gentlemen lead Girona by a margin so slim it could be negotiated away over a…
PARIS — Somewhere between the Champs-Élysées and the nearest tax haven, Kylian Mbappé has become the planet’s most expensive argument starter. From Dakar to Dubai, Seoul to São Paulo, the 25-year-old Frenchman now functions less as a footballer and more as a Rorschach test for the late-capitalist world order. Mention his name and you’ll learn…
Camila Alves Is the Last Diplomat Left Standing—and She Only Wanted to Sell You a Handbag By “Globetrotting” G. Mallory, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker RIO DE JANEIRO—While the G-7 busied itself deciding which adjectives to hurl at Russia and the BRICS practiced their annual photo-op yoga, Camila Alves quietly boarded a flight from Austin to…
From Lagos boardrooms to Laotian noodle stalls, the name Katie Maloney is now muttered with the same hushed awe once reserved for off-shore tax shelters and FIFA’s travel per diems. How, you ask, did a 37-year-old Californian who spent most of her screen time arguing about sangria-stained sofas become a geopolitical barometer? Welcome to the…
The Ligue 1 Table: A Tiny French Spreadsheet Holding Up the Global Circus By Dave’s Locker Foreign Correspondent (still technically on a bar tab in Marseille) Somewhere between the burnt rubber of the Paris périphérique and the lavender-scented smugness of Provence, twenty football clubs jostle for elbow room on a table so small it could…
West Ham vs Crystal Palace: A Parochial Derby the World Pretends to Care About By our man in the cheap seats, still waiting for geopolitical relevance to kick in LONDON—While diplomats in Brussels argue over artillery shells and grain corridors, 62,000 otherwise sane adults converged on a former marsh in Stratford on Saturday to scream…
Chelsea vs Manchester United: A Timeline of Collateral Damage from the Theater of Dreams and the Loan Shark Aquarium By Our Man in the Away End, nursing a lukewarm £6 lager and a mild existential crisis. 1905–1950: Imperial Warm-up Acts In the era when Britannia still pretended to rule the waves and ration books doubled…
Kayleigh McEnany: America’s Glitter-Flecked Mouthpiece and the Global Art of Weaponized Optimism By Dave’s Locker Foreign Desk From the frostbitten tundra of Siberian newsrooms to the humidity-soaked cafés of Bogotá, political correspondents have long kept a collective bingo card of uniquely American phenomena: 24-hour pancake joints, school-shooting drills, and televised press secretaries who smile like…
