Olly Murs and the Quiet Collapse of the Post-Brexit Pop Empire A dispatch from the wreckage of global soft power, with sequins. By the time the first missile fragments rained down over the Red Sea, Olly Murs was somewhere above the Persian Gulf in seat 3A, rehearsing falsetto runs for an Abu Dhabi brunch crowd…
Dispatches from the Midfield of Geopolitics: Lia Wälti, Switzerland’s Accidental Diplomat By Dave’s Locker International Desk Geneva, Switzerland –– Somewhere between the UN’s Palais des Nations and the Wef football stadium in Bern, Lia Wälti has spent the last decade proving that being a defensive midfielder can be more effective than most multilateral summits. While…
Jimmy Floyd Is Already Everywhere By the time you finish this sentence, the man, the meme, and the metaphysical migraine known as “Jimmy Floyd” will have colonized another time zone. If the name sounds like a budget airline pilot who moonlights in reggaetón, congratulations—you’ve grasped the global absurdity better than most foreign ministries. Because while…
Alan Brazil: When a Breakfast Show Becomes a Geopolitical Barometer By Our Man in the Departures Lounge, Dave’s Locker International Desk The name “Alan Brazil” sounds like a low-budget airline you’d regret booking at 3 a.m., yet it belongs to a man who has somehow turned fried eggs, betting odds, and the pre-caffeine grumbles of…
The NFL schedule release used to be a quaint domestic ritual: a few million Americans arguing on sports-talk radio about whether the Patriots had been given too many prime-time slots. Now, thanks to the league’s tireless evangelism—and the unquenchable global appetite for anything loud enough to drown out the news—the 18-week fixture list is parsed…
PARIS—While the rest of the planet argued about whether World War III would begin with a submarine ping or a TikTok trend, Lizzo—flute in one hand, disco ball in the other—managed to become a one-woman diplomatic incident on three separate continents last week. If you missed it, congratulations: you were probably busy watching glaciers file…
Bishop Montgomery Football and the Decline of Western Civilization (As Viewed from 30,000 Feet) By the time the private-jet set touched down in Riyadh last week—fresh from Davos, COP 28, and a discreet stop in Davos again for good measure—news of Bishop Montgomery High’s latest gridiron triumph had already ping-ponged through the encrypted group-chats of…
Nintendo: The Last Empire Built on Joy (and 8-Bit Stockholm Syndrome) By Dave’s Locker International Desk Kyoto, Japan – While the rest of the planet rehearses its own fiery reboot via climate summits, trade wars, and algorithmic coups, a 135-year-old playing-card company quietly sells $15 billion worth of escapism every year. Nintendo, that stubbornly cheerful…
Jamie Lee Curtis and the Global Supply Chain of Screams By Our Bureau Chief, Still Jet-Lagged in an Airport Lounge Near You Somewhere at 39,000 feet between Singapore and Reykjavík, a cargo manifest quietly lists “Curtis, J. L.—1 unit, cultural icon.” That bureaucratic understatement is how the world now ships its nightmares: neatly shrink-wrapped, Dolby-certified,…
STEVE BUSCEMI: THE ONLY THING HOLDING THE PLANET TOGETHER by our man in the field, still wearing yesterday’s cynicism Dateline: Somewhere over the Atlantic, where the in-flight Wi-Fi is patchy and the world below is on fire in at least four time zones. A curious thing happened at last week’s G-7 “emergency cultural summit” (a…
Mark Hamill, the Man Who Weaponized Nostalgia and Accidentally Became the Internet’s Guilt-Free Dad By Our Correspondent in Low-Earth Orbit Look up at the right moment—somewhere between the malfunctioning Chinese booster and Elon’s latest swarm of broadband pigeons—and you’ll see him: the lone Jedi emoji, orbiting the planet like a sarcastic satellite. Mark Hamill, age…
The 2026 World Cup, or “Operation Three-Country Branding Exercise” as its accountants call it, is already warming up on the runway like a private jet full of undecleared cash. Spread across the United States, Canada, and Mexico—a North American triumvirate that can’t agree on the spelling of “defence” yet somehow agreed to share a trophy—it…
