iOS 26 Launches From a Swiss Bunker, Uniting Earth in Shared Delusion of Progress
Geneva, Switzerland — Somewhere between a Swiss banker’s yawn and a climate refugee’s cough, Apple quietly dropped iOS 26, the operating system that promises to unite the planet in a shared hallucination of progress. The keynote was streamed live from a carbon-neutral bunker 30 meters beneath Lake Lucerne—because nothing says “global harmony” like an underground…