North Carolina: The World’s Favorite Overachieving Backwater By Pascal “Pax” Delacorte, International Correspondent at Large RALEIGH—If the planet were a high-school reunion, North Carolina would be the once-overlooked kid who now shows up in a rented Tesla, quoting Latin and smelling faintly of both artisanal bourbon and litigation. From the outside, this oblong patch of…
Randy Pittman, a name that sounds like it belongs on the back of a bowling shirt in a forgotten Wisconsin league, has improbably become the Zelig of our late-capitalist fever dream. From a basement server farm in suburban Omaha to the marble lobbies of the Gulf’s petro-princes, the 37-year-old former SEO consultant has spent the…
**The Digital Undead: Windows 10’s Global Resurrection Tour** In a world where even our toasters demand software updates, Microsoft has graciously decided to play digital necromancer with Windows 10—because apparently, we’ve all collectively agreed that planned obsolescence is just too mainstream for 2024. The tech giant’s Extended Security Update (ESU) program for Windows 10, now…
Geneva, Switzerland — Somewhere between a Swiss banker’s yawn and a climate refugee’s cough, Apple quietly dropped iOS 26, the operating system that promises to unite the planet in a shared hallucination of progress. The keynote was streamed live from a carbon-neutral bunker 30 meters beneath Lake Lucerne—because nothing says “global harmony” like an underground…
