Mozambique’s fisheries minister is weeping into her morning espresso. The yen just hit a 34-year low. Somewhere in Lagos a data-center hums loud enough to drown out the muezzin. And yet, on every continent, a certain strain of disaffected human is still pressing play on “How Soon Is Now?”—proof that even as the planet overheats,…
Phillies Score: A Humble Tally That Could Tilt the Planet From a rooftop bar in Istanbul—where the Bosphorus glitters like a bribed official and the muezzin competes with Euro-trash pop—tonight’s Phillies score scrolls across the ticker: Philadelphia 7, Opponent 3. The barflies, mostly German tech consultants who think RBI is a new cryptocurrency, raise their…
MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE — While the United Nations was busy congratulating itself on yet another non-binding climate accord, and while the world’s defense contractors toasted record quarterly earnings, a 12-year-old in the American South was quietly building a thermonuclear reactor in what used to be his parents’ bonus room. Jackson Oswalt’s homemade fusion device—an artful tangle…
Olly Murs and the Quiet Collapse of the Post-Brexit Pop Empire A dispatch from the wreckage of global soft power, with sequins. By the time the first missile fragments rained down over the Red Sea, Olly Murs was somewhere above the Persian Gulf in seat 3A, rehearsing falsetto runs for an Abu Dhabi brunch crowd…
The Curious Case of Paul Doyle: A Parable for Our Interconnected Age By Dave’s Locker Foreign Correspondent Dateline: Somewhere between Heathrow’s Terminal 5 and a half-functional Zoom call Paul Doyle, if the name rings any bells at all, is the mild-mannered Irish civil servant who accidentally set off a trans-continental domino cascade last Tuesday. One…
Mamdani: A Name That Travels—Sometimes with a Passport, Sometimes Without By Our Man in Every Terminal Lounge If you say “Mamdani” in a faculty club in New York, you’ll summon a polite nod to Mahmood Mamdani, the Ugandan polymath whose books on colonial ghosts and post-colonial hangover are heavier than the guilt in an IMF…
Molly Smith and the Great Global Rebranding of Absolutely Nothing By Our Correspondent, still jet-lagged in Terminal 3 Dateline: Somewhere between Reykjavik and regret Somewhere in the churning stomach of international capitalism, Molly Smith has become the latest placebo we swallow when the world’s indigestion flares. Who is Molly Smith? Pick a continent and you’ll…
Eagles Schedule: The 17-Week American Gladiator Calendar the Rest of the World Pretends Not to Watch By the time the NFL’s 2024 Philadelphia Eagles schedule dropped—on a Thursday night, because nothing says urgency like prime-time marketing—the planet was already busy. Tokyo’s Nikkei had closed up 0.4 % on semiconductor gossip, Berlin’s Bundestag was arguing about…
Crawford vs Canelo: When Two Hemispheres Collide in a Glorified Parking-Lot Behind a Casino in Vegas Dave’s Locker Global Dispatch, 9 May 2024 The boxing world has finally found a way to make the war in Gaza, the collapse of the Yen, and the slow-motion implosion of the Arctic ice shelf feel like quaint side-notes:…
The Roman Empire had bread, circuses, and the occasional crucifixion; the modern United States has 17 weeks of NFL football, $18 nacho helmets, and the moral certainty that anyone who kneels during the anthem must hate freedom. From the outside looking in—say, from a rain-soaked Glasgow pub or a Seoul subway car packed with K-League…
Maryland’s Little Gamble: How a Mid-Atlantic Scratch-Off Became a Mirror for the Planet’s Desperate Daydreams By Diego “House Always Wins” Morales, Senior Correspondent, Dave’s Locker BALTIMORE—On the surface, the Maryland Lottery looks like any other state-run numbers racket: garishly colored tickets, an app that pings like a needy ex, and billboards promising that someone, somewhere,…
Victoria: A Name That Conquered the World and Still Won’t Pick Up the Check By Our Jaded Foreign Correspondent Somewhere between Duty-Free and Disillusionment There are, at last count, roughly 1.3 million Victorias on LinkedIn alone—enough to fill a medium-sized authoritarian parade and still have a queue outside the bar. From the diamond mines of…
